


Embrace the Storm

by pommedeplume



Series: Ready for the Storm [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Adventure & Romance, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Pirate, Anal Fingering, Betaed, Bisexual Character, Black James Potter, Blow Jobs, Boats and Ships, Body Worship, Cunnilingus, Dirty Talk, F/F, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, Honeymoon, Islands, Kissing, Making Love, Marauders, Masturbation, Minor Character Death, Mutual Masturbation, Oral Sex, POC James Potter, Platonic Kissing, Pregnancy, Romance, Sex Magic, Shipwrecks, Skinny Dipping, Smut, Tea, This is basically one half feels and one half smut, Unresolved Tension, Vaginal Sex, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-23
Updated: 2017-08-31
Packaged: 2018-08-16 17:58:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 39,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8111947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pommedeplume/pseuds/pommedeplume
Summary: When Lily Evans rescues three young men off the coast of the island she calls home, she slowly falls in love with the one who calls himself James Potter. But Lily has an incredible secret that she is unable to breathe to a single living soul and a life that is threatened by darkness in this tale of passion, friendship and motherhood.





	1. The Castaways

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is a prequel to Ready for the Storm but requires no real knowledge of that fic.
> 
> Thanks to my beta, h_d!

The sun shimmered on the water as Lily Evans sat on a rock, enjoying the quiet, the cool ocean breeze and the shade of the tree overhead. This was her favourite spot on the island, far removed from the village. Only the lighthouse, run by old Ab, was nearby.

The only sounds were of wind, water and seagull. She always found the sound of waves to be calming. She was barefoot and let her toes curl against the grass and sand. She had a muffin resting on the lap of her white linen dress. She made a contented sigh and pulled a bite off the muffin and placed it in her mouth, appreciating its sweet, buttery taste. The baker’s wife really did make such delectable muffins.

“Help!” a voice cried out, startling Lily as it broke the silence.

Her eyes darted around searching for the source of the cry.

“Help! Help!”

There were two voices!

“Help us, _please_!”

Make that three. Lily set what remained of her muffin aside and quickly strode down to the beach, searching the horizon. She lifted her skirts to keep them from getting wet though the tide was only to her ankles. She looked out across the shimmering water and finally spotted the three figures, bobbing in the water.

Lily stood up straight, already feeling her fingertips begin to tingle. She closed her eyes, feeling calm and assured. She opened her eyes again and pointed a finger at the water. The water began to ripple. She guided the ripples towards the distant figures. The further the ripples went the more charged her body felt. She knew she shouldn’t do this but how could she ignore their pleas?

As the ripples reached the distant figures, Lily could feel it in her bones, like she had bumped into them herself. The figures were silent, no doubt unable to understand what was happening. She had done this before, though with driftwood rather than people.

Lily could immediately tell these three individuals were a touch heavier than driftwood. Her hands felt hot and heavy as if weighed down by anchors. With all of her might, she strained her body and pulled them towards the shore, her body feeling full of fire. She closed her eyes again and inhaled deeply, hoping that would somehow fill her with more strength.

Lily shouted and flung her arms behind her, surprising herself. Three voices shouted as water engulfed Lily and knocked her onto her back, landing on the sand with a hard thud and a mouth full of salt water, which she quickly spat out.

As the water sunk away, Lily heard three coughing voices nearby and opened her eyes to behold three naked figures before her on the sand. One boy was tall, thin and pale with long dark hair that stuck to his face in wet, sandy clumps. 

Another smaller, round boy had blond hair and was flat on his back. He seemed to be struggling to move and was looking from side to side in a frantic sort of way.

The third boy pulled himself to his feet and Lily found him particularly interesting. He too was rather tall but was dark-skinned and lean. He had a fine jaw and pouty lips. His black hair was a mess and she thought not just from the water. He rubbed his eyes desperately, seeming distressed.

“I’ve lost my glasses,” he said glumly.

“James, none of us have any clothes at all,” the boy with long, dark hair said, clearly trying to turn his groin away from Lily, though naked boys were nothing new to her, given that nude swimming was a popular summer pastime on the island.

The handsome boy glanced down at himself and said, “Oh. Right.”

Lily pulled herself to her feet, wondering exactly when one of them was going to thank her until she realised that they probably didn’t understand what had happened.

James squinted at her then took several steps forward.

“Hi, I’m-” he started but upon coming close enough he froze as if something had caught him off guard.

“Yes?” Lily asked.

James suddenly seemed awkward and embarrassed. Lily looked down at herself. Her dress was covered in muddy sand but she still had clothes on.

“Am I not naked enough?” Lily asked.

“Huh?” James asked.

“You just seemed uncomfortable. Would you be more comfortable if I were naked?” Lily asked.

“No!” he said, turning away, his dark face looked red.

Lily laughed and said, “I’m Lily. Lily Evans,” then extended a hand to him.

“I’m James. That’s Sirius,” James said, pointing at the dark haired boy who was now standing and facing out at the sea, hands on his hips.

“Hello,” Lily said with a wave.

“Hi,” Sirius said, not turning around.

“And Peter,” James said, pointing at the shorter boy.

“Hi,” the blond haired boy said.

Lily smiled and waved at him.

“Thank the Goddess, you found us,” Sirius said, making the other boys nod with enthusiasm.

“So, why don’t you lads follow me up to the lighthouse and I’ll see about some clothes in exchange for what I expect to be a _very_ interesting story,” Lily said, gesturing up the beach.

“I wouldn’t say no to some tea,” Peter said, stepping in her direction.

“Some clothes would be fantastic,” Sirius said, also following her as she began to march up the beach.

James groaned.

“I’m guessing the lighthouse doesn’t have any spare glasses lying about,” James said, striding beside her.

“No. But there’s a good shoppe back in the village,” Lily replied, smiling at him.

“Yeah, I know. That’s where I got my old pair,” James admitted, sounding ashamed.

“Wait,” Lily said, stopping and turning to look at them all.

“You’re from the village?” Lily said, giving them all a confused look.

Sirius scoffed and shook his head while Peter and James gave each other looks of shame.

“Peter and I are from the village. Sirius is… from somewhere else,” James said, with a frown.

“It’s a long story, obviously,” Sirius said with some annoyance.

“Apparently so,” Lily said with a smile, then turned back towards the lighthouse.

* * *

 

Arriving at the doorstep, Lily knocked firmly. Moments later old Ab opened the door and peered out at the four of them with some curiosity.

“You’re like a cat now, are ya?” Ab grumbled.

“A cat?” Lily asked.

“Yes. Sometimes you bring me berries. Sometimes you bring me muffins. And now the cat has dragged three confused and naked lads to my doorstep. ’Fraid I don’t need any of those,” Ab said with a chuckle.

“They’re castaways. I rescued them,” Lily said proudly.

“Bring them inside,” Ab said then opened the door up and let them step inside.

Ab went upstairs while James, Sirius and Peter sat down at his small dining table. Moments later Ab was back down with towels for them all and a change of clothes for the three boys.

“I left a pair of trousers and a shirt upstairs for you, Lily. ’Fraid I don’t have any frocks,” Ab said.

Lily marched upstairs and entered the bathroom, suddenly realising how exhausted she felt. She stared at herself in the mirror. She looked like she hadn’t slept in a week. Her green eyes were red and puffy and her dark red hair clung to her head like a wet mop. Doing what she had done took a lot out of her. Her muscles ached but in a good way, like after a morning run.

She removed her dress with some effort, since it was all clinging to her body. Standing naked in the bathroom she placed her hands on her bare abdomen, feeling the heat of her own skin. How long would it take her to cool down after something like that? She sighed. There was no way she would able to sleep tonight, no matter how exhausted she felt.

Lily rinsed her head in the sink then dried herself off with the towel as best she could before slipping the simple, cloth shirt over her head and pulling the trousers on. The shirt was far too big and the trousers were strangely too small, and she wondered if Ab had given her a man’s shirt but a boy’s trousers. She also felt a bit odd without any knickers on but shrugged and went downstairs.

The boys were already dressed and Ab was brewing tea.

“Some winter berries, Ab?” Lily asked.

“Winter berries in summer?” Ab asked then scoffed.

“Please?”

Ab sighed then nodded. He never was good at saying no to her. Ab had always been there for her ever since her parents passed away several years ago.

“Have you introduced yourself to the boys, Ab?” Lily asked, sitting down at the fourth chair at the table, pulling her legs up to sit cross legged, slapping a hand down on the table.

Ab just grunted and carried on with the tea.

“This is Aberforth Dumbledore. He’s the lighthouse keeper. He was friends with my parents before they… before they died,” Lily said, the words not wanting to leave her mouth.

James unexpectedly reached over and placed a hand over hers and squeezed.

“My parents are gone too,” James said, his lovely hazel eyes filled with understanding.

“So I guess you all should explain what in the world happened,” Lily said, giving James a small smile as she withdrew her hand.

The three boys collectively grumbled, talking over each other. Lily only caught various, stray words. _Kingdom_. _Pirates_. _Parents_. _Boat_.

“Not all at once, please,” Lily groaned.

“Sorry,” the three of them said at once then collectively laughed.

“I’ll start. My name is James Potter. Pete and I are old friends. After my mum and dad died I kind of just took care of myself. I’ve got money, you see. I never need to work. My parents moved to this island years ago, before I was born. They just wanted a quiet life, away from the kingdom,” James said.

Ab placed four mugs of winterberry tea on the table, spilling just a little from each of them.

“If you lot will excuse me, I’ll be going back to bed,” Ab said.

“It was nice meeting you,” James said.

Ab just grunted and went upstairs. Lily had forgotten that Ab would have to be up all night watching the coast. Of course, there were never boats around here, which made the appearance of these three boys all the more curious.

Lily tried to take a sip of the tea but it was much too hot, despite its wintery chill.

“So anyhow, my parents owned a boat. Well, sort of. They owned it but were lending it to the island, sort of indefinitely,” James said.

“You’re the ones who stole the boat!” Lily said, amazed that she hadn’t put it together yet.

James and Peter looked embarrassed and nodded.

“But that was two years ago!” Lily said, feeling astonished.

“We were only fourteen,” Peter admitted.

“I told myself it wasn’t theft if my parents owned it. We were just going to take it out for a few weeks. Instead, we sailed across the sea and ended up docked in the kingdom,” James said.

“We got arrested. Mistaken for pirates,” Peter said.

“And this is where I come into the story,” Sirius said with a grin.

Now that his hair was dry and he was clothed, Lily realised that Sirius was rather handsome himself. His features were slight and his grey eyes were cool but not cold.

“I’m all ears,” Lily said, dropping her legs to the floor and leaning forward towards Sirius.

“I’m… Look, I know this is going to sound ridiculous but it’s the truth: I’m a prince,” Sirius said, his face a strange mixture of pride and revulsion.

“OK,” Lily said, feeling nonplussed.

“That’s it? No reaction? No shock or disbelief?” Sirius said, seeming unnecessarily offended.

Lily shrugged.

“You seem princely enough,” Lily confessed.

Sirius scoffed but continued: “When I heard my mother and father were bragging about having arrested some pirates I just had to go have a look at them. You see our kingdom has a _notorious_ pirate problem. We never arrest or capture pirates. It just doesn’t happen. So I went down to the dungeons only to find these two looking like poorly fed puppies.”

“Pete and I had only been at sea for six months before that. We had stopped at various ports and got lost a dozen or so times but we certainly weren’t any sort of pirates!” James said.

“Of course, I could tell they weren’t pirates. Any fool would know. Look at James’s face. Does he look like a pirate to you?” Sirius said.

Lily considered James’s face with a smile. No, he didn’t look like a pirate. He looked like one of those handsome sailors her mother used to tell her bedtime stories about. They were strong, heroic and beautiful and always knew how to treat a lady. Lily thought the stories were boring but she suspected not much about James Potter could be classified as boring. He looked very interesting, indeed.

“No, of course not,” Lily said, restraining from saying that he was far too pretty to be a pirate, though it was certainly true.

Lily felt a small patch of sadness on her heart when she thought of the stories her mother told her. She tried to push it out of her head. She mustn’t think of those stories. Not right now. She picked her mug up from the table and took a sip of it, the coolness of winterberry filling her body now that the tea wasn’t so hot. The chill from the berries was calming. She wondered if Ab suspected that the berries hadn’t had those properties when she’d harvested them.

“As I lay in bed that night I just couldn’t stand it anymore. I couldn’t bear to think of these two remaining in our dungeon and ending up either executed or locked away for the rest of their lives. I snuck down to the dungeons and released them. The three of us fled the palace and we escaped on their boat.”

Sirius looked nostalgic, his face conveying far more than his words as he sipped his tea. Lily pictured Sirius as a boy who never felt at peace with his own lot in life. Being a prince never suited him but he couldn’t really escape it either. Running off with James and Peter must’ve been quite the change for him.

“And so we sailed together, exploring the seas for nearly two years until… Pirates. Real pirates, mind you. We were finally taking the boat back to the island. We knew we should’ve done it a long time ago… I guess it was selfish,” James said, taking a big gulp of his tea, shivering as it chilled his body.

“You guess it was? It _definitely_ was,” Lily said, giving James a firm glare.

He turned away in shame.

“I know. You’re right. But you see… it gets worse. The pirates boarded the ship, made us strip down then tossed us right where you found us,” James said.

Lily didn’t know if she wanted to yell at them all, laugh at them or just express sympathy. They definitely deserved the first one and probably the last as well. Instead she sighed and shook her head.

“You owe this island. James and Peter especially,” Lily said.

“I know. And I intend to make it up to them. I have money and useful skills. I’ve learned a lot these last two years. I will be everyone’s servant until my debt is paid,” James said.

“Yeah, me too,” Peter said, though something on his face told Lily that he wasn’t looking forward to manual labour.

“I’m happy to help. If this is to be my new home I suppose I should earn my place. I say… I wonder if the old man needs any assistance. Lighthouses have always been a secret passion of mine,” Sirius admitted, going from a grin to a frown within seconds.

“You want to be a lighthouse keeper?” Lily said skeptically, raising an eyebrow at Sirius.

“Better that than a bloody prince, I’ll tell you that. I like watching the water. It’s calming,” Sirius said.

“You’ll have to ask him yourself but you’ve already seen what he’s like,” Lily said.

“Also… did you say his name is Dumbledore?” James asked.

“Yes. Why?” Lily replied.

The three boys exchanged pointed glances.

“We met a Dumbledore on one of the larger islands. Albus Dumbledore. Interesting man. Not a very common surname, is it? Reckon they’re related?” James asked.

Lily frowned. Ab had mentioned having a brother and _none_ of what he’d had to say was positive.

“That may be so,” Lily said.

“Small world,” Peter said.

Lily finished her tea in silence. Her body felt calm and tingly. Perhaps she would get sleep that night after all.

“I suppose we should head to my home. I’m afraid after two years it won’t be very clean. I’ll be lucky if there aren’t any squatters,” James said.

* * *

 

James’s home wasn’t in the village at all, Lily discovered, as she followed the three boys across the island. It was on the cliffs that overlooked the village. She knew the house all too well. She had always wondered who had lived in it. 

“They have these elevators in the kingdom… these metal cages that lift you up with chains attached to pulleys. I’d like to build something like that for the people on the cliff. It would help us be more connected to the rest of the island,” James said.

“It would also be less of a pain on my feet,” Lily said, thankful that they had stopped by her home so that she could drop her dress off and grab some shoes.

“Can’t you fly?” Peter said suddenly, as they crossed the final hill to James’s cabin.

Everyone stopped moving. Peter looked embarrassed and none of them would meet Lily’s gaze.

“All right. Just get it out of your systems,” Lily grumbled, gesturing with her hands insistently.

“You can do magic!” Peter said.

“I wasn’t sure if it was you. It can’t have been… but it _must’ve_ been!” James said.

“It was beautiful. It was like… could you two see it? It was the colour of good dreams,” Sirius said, sounding genuinely moved.

The three of them looked relieved to be able to actually say what they were all probably thinking.

“To answer the questions I know you’re about to ask me: No, I’m not a witch. No, you didn’t imagine it. No, I can’t tell you how I did it,” Lily said.

That last part really wasn’t a lie. She _couldn’t_ tell them how she did it. Not just because the concept was difficult to explain but she literally couldn’t speak the words. It was physically impossible. She had tried once to explain to her friend Dorcas. She tried desperately to force the words from her lips but it was no use. It had been humiliating.

Lily didn’t know exactly what or who she was but whatever she did know, she was completely unable to share with anyone else. Luckily, no one questioned her further. Instead, James led them inside his home.

The place reeked of mustiness. It was a two-storey cabin and it had held up well, considering the storms the island had seen in the past.

“Nice place,” Lily said, then dragged a finger over a counter top, bringing with it at least half an inch of dust and added, “Sort of.”

“I suspect I’ll spend the next week cleaning this place up. With Sirius and Peter’s help I’m sure we’ll have it cleaned up in no time,” James said.

James reached the staircase then turned around and said to Lily, “Follow me?”

Lily shrugged and went up the stairs behind him.

“This is my room,” James said, opening one of the doors at the top of the stairs, the other obviously being his mum and dad’s room.

Lily wasn’t sure what she was expecting James’s room to be like but it wasn’t this. Everything was strangely simple. The room was large and the bed was certainly larger and probably a great deal softer than the one she slept on at night.

James walked to the back of the room and opened up double doors, revealing a balcony and a most interesting view below of a small pond and a rather tall tree that hung over it, giving it shade.

“I grew up down there,” James said, standing against the railing and looking down.

Lily scooted beside him, admiring the view.

“It’s lovely,” she said.

“I lived on this island all my life but I never swam off the coast. I swam down there in the pond,” James said.

“I bet it was nice in the summer,” Lily said, thinking a quick dip would actually be perfect right now.

“Very. Always wished I’d had more friends, though. My parents weren’t strict or anything. But living up on the cliff didn’t really lend itself to meeting lots of other kids. I only met Pete because he was running an errand, delivering something or the other to one of the other houses along the cliffside,” James said.

Lily felt sad. She too had been a lonely child. She was pretty, and people said she was nice, but everyone knew something was different about her. Parents were afraid to leave her alone with their children and her parents had discouraged her from even trying to make friends out of fear of what might happen. Even her own sister, Petunia, was afraid of her and called her a freak.

“I wish we had known each other,” Lily said, touching James on the back of the shoulder affectionately.

James turned to her with a warm smile.

“A pretty girl like you? Come on,” James said.

Lily blushed and looked away, removing her hand from his shoulder.

“I mean it. I didn’t have any friends. I still barely do, really. Just Dorcas Meadowes,” Lily said.

“Believe me when I tell you that you have made three brand new friends today,” James countered.

Lily felt herself flush with happiness. It was something that she hadn’t known how badly she wanted until she truly had it. Friendship! What a novel idea.

“I welcome it, though I hope the island itself and all the people who live on it will become your friend. The loss of our only boat has been a terrible one,” Lily said.

“I swear I will make it right,” James said.

Something in his eyes told her that every word he said was true and she nodded in affirmation. Lily slid her hands in the pockets of the trousers Ab had given her, another novelty she wasn’t used to as none of her dresses had pockets. She decided to remember to sew some pockets onto some of her dresses.

“I really should start wearing trousers more often. I love a good pocket,” Lily said.

James laughed and they both looked down at the pond in silence.

“You should come round for a swim sometime,” James suggested.

“I would like that,” Lily said.

A crashing sound downstairs interrupted the peace, forcing the two of them to go and check on the other two boys.

“It was Peter,” Sirius said flatly as they came back downstairs.

“Traitor,” Peter replied.

“Was it you?” James asked Peter.

“Yeah,” he admitted with a shrug.

“Well, lads, I think I’ll leave you to it. I’ve some chores that still need doing,” Lily said, heading towards the door.

“It was nice meeting you,” Sirius said with a nod and a smile.

“You too,” she called back.

James rushed to the door, which he opened while standing there.

“I’m going to come down to the village later this week to get new glasses. Would you mind if I came by to visit you?” James said.

“I look forward to it,” Lily said.

James grinned then stuck out his hand for her to shake.

“Miss Evans,” James said.

“Mr. Potter,” Lily replied.

* * *

 

Lily felt almost like she could fly on her way back down to the village. She had never felt this way before. How exciting it was to make friends, James Potter in particular. 

Oh, she had a desperate desire to tell Dorcas about James immediately. Lily was _very_ excited about her burgeoning friendship with James Potter. He really was so very interesting. And he was funny! And when he smiled it was like _everything_ was wonderful.

Lily arrived at her home to find it empty as usual. Petunia was almost never home these days, preferring the company of that nasty man, Vernon Dursley. Lily didn’t like Vernon Dursley one bit and Lily liked most people. She thought there was a bit of good in everyone. If there was good in Vernon Dursley she hadn’t located it yet.

Lily did her dishes and washed her dress while she daydreamed about her new friends. Just as she was taking the dress outside to hang on the line, she heard a familiar voice say, “Well, there you are.”

“Sorry, Dorcas. I got caught up in things,” Lily said.

“Caught up in things? What things? There are things now?” Dorcas said, walking up, the sun setting behind her, casting an orange haze over everything.

Dorcas Meadowes was a short, dark-skinned girl with natural curls she often kept in a ponytail. She also wore glasses which reminded her again of James Potter and his impending visit later that week.

“It’s a long story. Come inside and I’ll tell you everything,” Lily said.


	2. The Almost Kiss

The wait until Lily saw James Potter again was nearly unbearable. Not just for Lily but maybe even Dorcas, to whom Lily had been prattling on for days about James.

“Do you think he likes to read? I wonder if he would like ‘Navigator, Baker and Clockmaker’,” Lily said, referencing one of her favourite novels, an autobiography of a man who lived in the kingdom a hundred years ago who had gone through a series of dramatic career changes.

Lily found the anecdotes contained in the novel to be intriguing and heartwarming. Lily liked novels based on true stories. Lily wondered if she counted as a true story. What was it that made a story true?

“I’ve never met the boy, Lily. And you barely know him for that matter,” Dorcas said.

“I could lend him my copy,” Lily continued.

Dorcas groaned, letting herself fall back onto Lily’s bed in apparent exasperation.

Lily turned and smiled at her friend.

“I’m sorry. It’s just… been a long time since I’ve made any new friends. I only want to get to know them better. I want to do it right,” Lily said.

Dorcas shook her head and laughed, making a face as if someone had just referenced an inside joke.

“What?” Lily said.

“Nothing. I’ll explain it to you some other time,” Dorcas said.

Lily frowned and shrugged. Sometimes Dorcas seemed to enjoy watching Lily figure things out for herself. It was charming in a frustrating sort of way.

* * *

 

James Potter knocked on Lily’s door exactly seven days from the last time she saw him. When she opened the door she was briefly caught off guard by his new bespectacled appearance and far finer state of dress than when she last saw him. He was wearing a nice dark-blue dress shirt and black slacks, clothing far finer than could be purchased on the island.

“Hello,” Lily said warmly while James just stood there slack jawed as if he’d just had a stunning revelation.

Lily’s mouth twitched in a nervous smile, waiting for a response.

“I’m sorry. I just… hadn’t seen you with my glasses on before,” James said and Lily felt herself blush.

“Won’t you come inside,” she said, gesturing behind her.

“I was hoping you might walk along the beach with me, actually. It’s far too nice out to be inside,” James said.

Lily nodded and locked her door. She was wearing her favourite white summer dress, that showed a bit more skin than most of her other dresses. It consisted of a single piece, with the thin straps going over her shoulders connecting to fabric that covered all but the tops of her bosoms and stopped just above her knees. It fit comfortably and for a hot day like this, it was especially ideal. She had sewn it herself. 

Her sandals were becoming worn down, on the other hand. She was going to have consider getting them repaired soon as even on the beach they were feeling uncomfortable.

Lily followed James down the path to the beach and walked alongside him. The breeze was slight and the sun felt harsh on her skin. But the company made up for any discomfort.

“I miss the water,” James said.

“What do you mean? It’s right there,” Lily said.

“I miss being _on_ the water. Don’t get me wrong: I’m a terrible sailor. Dreadful, really. But I just got so used to being out on the water. It’s like I’m missing something. I feel naked,” James said and Lily resisted the urge to remind him that she knew what it actually looked like when he was naked.

“I suppose I can understand that. I’m so used to the sound of the waves and the gulls that I can’t imagine what it would be like without them,” she confessed.

“Being out on the sea made me feel a bit sick at first but over time I grew used to the lack of stability. Now, the ground feels so solid and unyielding,” James said.

“I could make the ground swallow you up if you’d like,” Lily said with a wicked smile.

James stopped in his tracks and stared at her in disbelief.

“I’m only kidding. I think. Probably…” Lily said and continued to walk, forcing James to follow.

“I do have so many questions but I don’t want to pry,” James said.

“Pry away. I’ll answer what I can,” Lily said, knowing it was probably futile.

“Where did your powers come from?”

“I can’t answer that.”

“How long have you had them?”

“Always. I remember being small. My mother was holding me. She was afraid and I could… feel it. I could feel her fear. I could almost tell what it was she was afraid of,” Lily said.

“You can read minds?” James asked.

“Not exactly. Here, stop,” Lily said, grabbing his hands.

James stopped moving as Lily gently held his hands. Her heart began to pound with excitement.

“Hmm… I can’t feel anything,” Lily said.

“Maybe I’m feeling the same thing you are,” he replied and she laughed, letting his hands go.

“Normally, I can get a sense for what’s on someone’s mind if I concentrate. And no, I never do it against anyone’s wishes,” Lily said.

“Do you know anyone else like yourself?” James said.

“No.”

“What does it feel like?”

“Good. Powerful. It feels like waking up and knowing it’s going to be a good day. It feels I’m a part of the universe and completely alone. It feels intensely carnal and infinitely spiritual.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah.”

James stopped and plopped down on the sand. Lily sat down beside him. She looked at her arms, red from the sun and shining with sweat. James looked at her, smiled then looked back out at the waves.

“How many know about you?” he asked.

“I suppose it depends what you mean by _know_. Lots on the island suspect certain things about me. Some say I’m a witch or that my parents made a deal with the devil. If you mean who generally knows that I am different… You, Sirius, Peter, my sister, Ab, and my friend Dorcas. But as for how many know the real truth… Just me,” Lily said sadly.

“That’s a terrible burden, isn’t it? Being the only one with a secret like that?”

Lily nodded and sighed.

“I would give anything just to tell someone but I can’t. And I can’t even explain _why_ I can’t,” Lily said.

“Could you write it down?” James asked.

“I’ve tried so many times. It’s no better than trying to speak it. My hands won’t move,” Lily said.

“Can you send thoughts like you can read thoughts?” James said.

“I’ve… never tried. I don’t think anyone wants me messing with their mind,” Lily said.

James gave her a small smile and extended his hand to her in invitation. Lily returned his smile and took it in both her hands. His hands were surprisingly soft for one who had been at sea for so long. She focused very hard, the truth of her nature filling her mind with exquisite and terrible wonder. She thought of Grindelwald and the book of dreams and the ink that bound her very existence. She thought it as hard as she could at James Potter.

James pulled his hand away with shock.

“Did you see it?” Lily asked, feeling herself trembling and swimming with anxiety.

James shook his head, his hazel eyes wide and filled with regret.

“No. It… it started to hurt. No… that’s not true. It wasn’t pain. It just… was too much. But I felt something. There was something dark, terrible and far too awesome to be understood. It felt like… the Goddess whispering her true name in my ear and I’m not meant to hear it,” James said, sounding disturbed.

Lily nodded, genuinely unable to offer any clarifying words. Instead she placed her hand back on James’s but only with affection in mind, wanting to soothe the anxiety they both probably felt. He placed his other hand on hers and squeezed it softly. She liked how small her hand looked between his. It made her get that most peculiar feeling of giddiness again.

James turned towards her and Lily found her eyes focusing on his lips. They looked so soft. And there really was so much of them. That was… a good amount of lip. 

James wet them with his tongue. Lily unconsciously mirrored that motion and shifted her body closer to his. Lily held her breath for a moment as their faces leaned ever so slightly close together. They held in place, her mouth close enough to his to feel hot breath. He closed his eyes and pushed closer, brushing her lips just as she felt a jolt of panic and pulled away.

Lily pulled herself to her feet, feeling more unsure and confused than she ever had before. She felt flushed and she was trembling again. She had _definitely_ never felt like this before. It was so exciting and that terrified her. Maybe she was losing control. She needed to take a step back.

“I’m sorry,” James said.

“No, it’s all right. I think trying to send you my thoughts has made me feel tired,” Lily said.

“Let’s get you home then, shall we,” James said.

They walked back in silence, Lily replaying the moment in her mind, not understanding why she both did and did not want to kiss him. Lily definitely needed some soothing tea.

* * *

 

Lily struggled to sleep that night. The only thing she could do was lie there and think about James Potter. It wasn’t any one particular thing about James Potter. It was _everything_ about James Potter. It had felt so good to be so honest with him about herself. She couldn’t believe she had been almost able send him her thoughts and on the first try at that!

She didn’t understand why everything was so damned exciting and terrifying about James Potter all at once. The way he looked at her on the beach took her breath away and made her tingle all over. It also made her want to run and hide.

Why was this such a big deal? She had made friends before and it had never been a big deal. But James Potter was definitely a _big deal_. Perhaps the biggest deal she could possibly imagine. Lily started to think over every single moment from the moment he came to the door to the moment he left, her copy of ‘Navigator, Baker and Clockmaker’ in his hands.

She wondered if she had said anything wrong. Did she use the wrong tone here or there? Could she have done this or that differently? Should she have tried to be more funny? Maybe she should’ve laughed more at him being funny. Should she have kissed him? No, she shouldn’t have but oh how she had wanted to!

Why did it make her heart want to pound out of her chest when they touched or even when he looked in her eyes and smiled? Or when he said her name. She pictured it in her mind. The way his mouth moved when they formed the shapes that created the sounds of her name filled her with joy. Lily pushed her face into her pillow and groaned in frustration.

Lily tossed her pillow aside and stared at the wooden ceiling of her home, barely visible in the dark save for moonlight shimmering off the water that shone through her bedroom window.

She closed her eyes but the only thing she could see was James Potter smiling at her on the beach, licking his lips and leaning into her, like a good scene from a novel. Her mind tried to remember what it felt like for James’s lips to brush hers. What would it feel like for James Potter to go a bit further than that?

She imagined what it would be like as best she could. She had never done that before with anyone. She had never really understood why it was a thing that people did. It didn’t even make any sense! And yet here she was in bed, entirely unable to sleep and wishing more than anything she’d had the courage to kiss James Potter that afternoon.

Suddenly, it really was like one of those stories her mother used to tell. The beautiful maiden fell back upon the beach, the handsome sailor’s lips strong and sensual as he placed his hands firmly on her body, the both of them nearly melting into the sand. It was something simultaneously mythic and carnal.

But this wasn’t a story and James Potter was only her friend. There was no use trying to make things fit some absurd ideal. And anyway, the rest of those stories were terrible. The beautiful maiden never seemed to have much of a choice in her life, merely existing as an object of conquest or self betterment for the men in the tales.

She had also asked her mother why the stories were always about a man and a woman, since not everyone fit into that box just right, including Lily herself, who had never seen why she should have to pick one particular gender to be attracted to.

Lily finally felt herself starting to relax. But James Potter still lurked in her mind. She was going to have work on this. She was making a big fuss out of nothing. Honestly, Evans, lots of people are capable of making new friends without making fools of themselves like this, she told herself.

As sleep began to overtake her, she vowed to work on her friendship with James Potter. If she were to just make it a priority and push this other confusing business out of her mind, everything would be fine. 

* * *

 

Everything was _not_ fine. Not at first, anyway. For the next few weeks, Lily really didn’t see much of James Potter. She was busy collecting herbs and berries for village merchants a great deal of the time. She also sometimes helped mend clothing. Her parents hadn’t left her much so it was important to make money where she could. But mostly, she felt it was important to help the community as much as she could.

James Potter stayed busy keeping his word, beginning the process of going door to door of every home, business or merchant in the village offering whatever help he could give. One day Lily saw him helping to repair a child’s tree swing and it warmed her heart. That swing had been broken for at least a year. Sure, repairing the swing didn’t bring the boat back or reinvigorate the stagnating economy but it did increase the happiness of the village ever so slightly.

Surprisingly, it was Sirius Black she saw the most of that month. One day he came to her looking nervous.

“Can I ask you a favour?” Sirius asked at her doorstep.

“Of course,” Lily said and stepped aside, allowing him to enter her home.

“Will you come with me to the lighthouse this evening? I’m going to formally ask Aberforth to take me on as an apprentice. Now, I don’t want you to say or do anything. I just feel like if you are there he might be kinder towards me,” Sirius said.

“All right,” Lily said.

“Wait. That’s it. All right?” Sirius said, looking confused.

“Anything for a friend,” Lily said and smiled at him.

Sirius beamed with joy.

“Here. Sit down. Have some wind spice tea,” Lily said.

Sirius sat down and Lily slid a cup in front of him into which she poured the hot liquid.

“That’s amazing,” Sirius said, taking a sip of it.

“Thank you. It’s my own blend,” Lily said, sitting down in front of her own cup.

“Do you sell this in the village?” Sirius said.

“I sell a version of it. A version that’s a bit more spice than it is wind, if you take my meaning,” Lily said, giving Sirius a small wink.

“I think I do,” Sirius said.

“I’m always nervous about exposing too much of who I am to the villagers. I doubt they’d ever do anything to harm me… but there’s already too many uncomfortable rumours about me here,” Lily said, staring absently at her cup.

“That’s not what I hear,” Sirius said.

“Hmm?” Lily said, looking at Sirius with confusion.

“In the month I have lived on this island I have heard nary a displeasing word about Lily Evans. I have been told how kind Lily Evans is. I have been told how strong she is for essentially making it on her own at only the age of sixteen. I have been told how much Lily Evans cares for this village. I have been told by one Dorcas Meadowes what a good friend Lily Evans is. And there are some who have told me how beautiful Lily Evans is with an assortment of impressive adjectives,” Sirius said then took a sip of his tea with a smile.

Lily felt her eyes filling with tears. She turned away, unable to stop herself.

“You’re more loved than you know, Miss Evans,” Sirius said.

“Thank you,” was all Lily could manage as the tears streamed down her face.

* * *

 

Lily insisted they not bother Ab until she was sure he was awake for at least half an hour.

“The last thing you want is to ask him for something after you’ve made him get out bed early, believe me,” Lily told Sirius and he thankfully took her word for it.

Ab answered the door and silently let them in. He had an oddly expectant face on. He didn’t seem terribly surprised to see either of them.

“How have you been, Ab?” Lily asked.

Ab grimaced.

“I’ve been well enough. We can dispense with the small talk, though,” Ab replied.

“Oh,” Lily said.

“Whatever it is you want, just say it.”

“I’m actually the one who-” Sirius started.

“Of course you are,” Ab said flatly.

“I was wondering… I mean I don’t know if this is a thing that you would ever do…” Sirius continued.

Ab sat down at the table, placing an elbow on the surface and resting his head on his hand, tilted to one side in a sign of impatience.

“I was just wondering if… you would take me on as an apprentice,” Sirius said with a smile.

“There. That wasn’t so hard. And, no, I won’t,” Ab said.

Sirius looked stunned.

“But don’t you need one? You have no heir or family,” Sirius said.

Ab flinched at that last word.

“Say what you’re really thinking: I’m old. Yes, I’m old. Yes, I need to train someone to take over for me after I’m gone. What the hell makes you think it should be you?” Ab said.

“It should be _someone_. And I am fairly well-educated and have experience on the water. Back home I had books on lighthouses that I used to read. I can promise you that there’s no one on this island more prepared than me,” Sirius said.

Ab shrugged.

“Fine. Then you start immediately. I expect you here every night. Not _some_ nights. Not _most_ nights. _Every_ night, no exceptions. Miss a night and we’re done,” Ab said.

And that was that. Lily continued to accompany Sirius to the lighthouse in the evenings for a time. If nothing else, time spent with Sirius was a distraction from thinking about James Potter. Well, until Sirius brought James up. Sirius really admired James. 

“It’s nice that you think so highly of your best friend,” Lily said one day while walking to the lighthouse.

“Oh, James is so much more than that,” Sirius said and Lily felt an unusual moment of panic before he finished, “He’s like a brother.”

Lily felt an inexplicable feeling of relief and smiled at Sirius.

“The brother you never had?” Lily asked.

Sirius frowned and shook his head.

“I have a brother. Regulus. He’s everything my parents wish I was. He’s going to grow up to be just like them, I know it,” Sirius said.

Lily suddenly wished she hadn’t said anything but Sirius continued: “No, James is so much better. I didn’t choose Regulus. I chose James. He means everything to me,” Sirius said.

“So, do you fancy him?” Lily asked, not knowing where her sudden boldness came from.

Sirius burst into laughter.

“James? Do I fancy James? Of course not. I’ll admit that he’s pleasing to the eyes but he’s really not my type. And he only likes girls,” Sirius said.

Lily hadn’t really considered the sort of people James might be attracted to. She did feel a rush at the knowledge that she wasn’t precluded from belonging to that group, however.

“Actually, I’ve never really known anyone else like me,” Sirius said.

“My friend Dorcas and I both like girls but not really each other. We’ve known each other since we were small. It would be too weird,” Lily admitted.

Sirius smiled at her admission.

“I do hope you find someone, Sirius,” Lily said.

“And I hope someone finds you too,” Sirius said with a chuckle, leaving Lily wondering if he knew exactly who her mind leapt to.

* * *

 

Lily didn’t see much of Peter Pettigrew that first month. Now that he was back on the island his mother was apparently demanding all of his attention. According to Peter he had apologised more times and in more ways than he knew was possible for abandoning her.

She felt terrible for Mrs. Pettigrew for having spent two years believing her son to be lost at sea. Lily decided to say hello one day but Peter greeted her at the door and didn’t seem to want to introduce her to his mother.

“Mum isn’t feeling well, unfortunately,” Peter said.

“I just wanted to say hello and that I’m sorry for never having met her before now. I know most everyone on the island but not her,” Lily said.

Lily had glimpsed her on the porch from time to time, not knowing who she was but Mrs. Pettigrew kept to herself. Lily had to admit that she didn’t look particularly ill but she often seemed to be drinking from a bottle of liquor.

Another month passed and Lily saw little of her new friends, all three of them finding things to keep themselves busy. By some miracle, Lily was managing to keep thoughts about James Potter to a minimum. He came by from time to time and he still smiled at her in that same way but it seemed she had successfully made things a little more normal and friendly.

Of course, for Lily normal was a relative term. She had never felt normal and wasn’t sure what it was. She just knew it was something to be desired. Friends didn’t lay awake at night imagining what it would be like to kiss and hold each other. That wasn’t normal. At least, not as far as Lily knew and she only had stories and observances to go on.

At the end of their third month on the island something rather unexpected happened: she stumbled upon Dorcas and Peter kissing on the beach while going hunting for shells to place in her home. Lily was uncertain of how to react. It was several new pieces of information and not easy to process.

She hadn’t known that Dorcas and Peter were friendly and she certainly hadn’t known that they were interested in kissing each other. By the Goddess, Dorcas never even mentioned Peter.

“Oh, hey, Lils,” Dorcas said, pulling her mouth away from Peter and smiling back at Lily.

“Hi. Hello, Peter,” Lily said.

“I was just leaving, actually,” Peter said looking awkward.

Dorcas looked disappointed as he stood up, brushed sand off himself and quickly left. Lily was beginning to worry that Peter didn’t like her, but that was probably ridiculous. Lily sat down next to Dorcas, the autumn breeze giving her chills. It was time to put her summer clothes away. 

“So, Peter, eh?” Lily asked.

“Yeah. Sort of. It’s not what it looks like,” Dorcas said.

“So you weren’t kissing him?” Lily said, playfully bumping her shoulder into Dorcas’s.

“Well, yeah. I was. But it’s not… a big deal. He’s just a friend and I wanted to kiss him. I _like_ kissing boys,” Dorcas said.

“Recreationally?” Lily said then snickered.

“Sure,” Dorcas said.

Lily wondered if she could just kiss James Potter, recreationally. Her mind flashed back to that time when they so nearly kissed and her heart began to pound once more. No, kissing James Potter definitely would be a big deal and she tried to quickly push it out of her mind.

“What’s it like?” Lily asked.

“Kissing? It’s nice. It’s intimate but not as intimate as sex,” Dorcas said.

“Why do we do it? I mean sex makes some level of objective sense but kissing doesn’t seem to serve any purpose,” Lily said.

“Do hugs have a purpose? It’s just affection, Lily. Don’t overthink it,” Dorcas said.

Lily wondered if Dorcas had ever wanted to kiss her since this was just something she did with friends recreationally. Lily hadn’t really thought about it. In fact, before James Potter she had never really thought about kissing anyone. 

“I guess maybe I would understand if I had done it before,” Lily said.

“Do you want me to kiss you?” Dorcas asked, shrugging.

Lily blushed then laughed.

“I’ll take that as a no,” Dorcas said.

“No. I mean, yes! You can kiss me,” Lily said.

Then, in a strange mirror of her moment with James, Dorcas leaned over and pressed her lips into Lily’s. Dorcas’s lips were soft and tasted faintly of honey. Lily held her breath until they slowly parted.

Dorcas pulled away with a smile and said, “How was that?”

“That was nice,” Lily said, feeling herself almost painfully grinning.

“You’re a good kisser, Lils. You’re gonna knock James Potter dead someday,” Dorcas said.

Lily stared at her in shock.

“Come on, Lils. You’ve prattled on about James Potter for _months_ now,” Dorcas said.

Lily was certain that she had been cutting back in honour of keeping her friendship with James normal but perhaps she was wrong.

“I talk about all of my new friends. There’s no need to single out James,” Lily said.

“Then why do you do it?” Dorcas asked, giving Lily a pointed glare.

Lily wasn’t sure how to answer that. Instead she replied with an objectively unusual observance: “I kissed you after you kissed Peter. Does this mean I’ve kissed Peter?”

Dorcas burst into laughter and shook her head.

“No, of course not. You are such a silly girl, Lily Evans,” Dorcas said.

After several minutes of laughing and Dorcas explaining all the boys and girls she had kissed and how now Lily had practically, by proxy, kissed every teenager their age in the village, Lily continued on her seashell hunt.

She knew it was going to be harder than ever to not imagine that moment with her and James on the beach and what it would’ve been like if she had let him kiss her. As she headed home, she had almost no seashells in her pouch. Her mind was far too distracted.

As she passed the village she spied another sight that she did not expect: James Potter holding the hands of another girl, Petrova Porskoff.


	3. The Girlfriends

Lily was proud of herself for how well she was handling the fact that James Potter had a girlfriend. Oh, certainly seeing them together was painful in ways that she didn’t quite understand but at the very least it gave her the push she needed to get him out of her mind.

Dating really was a funny thing, Lily thought. It seemed so odd to meet someone and carry on with all that stubborn formality. It seemed so much better to let things develop organically. People who dated seemed to want to put love before friendship rather than letting love spring forth from the seeds of friendship.

And yet putting love before friendship is exactly what Lily found herself doing the day she asked Mary MacDonald out. Mary was a cute, short brown-skinned girl with short hair. She was the sort of girl who wore trousers like it was nobody’s business.

Lily had always been afraid to talk to her but one month into James’s courtship she finally gathered up the nerve. Mary was leaving the bakery when Lily suddenly said, “Hi. Mary?”

“Oh, hi. You’re Lily,” Mary said.

“Yeah,” Lily said.

“Did you need something?” Mary asked as she continued walking, Lily trying her best to keep up.

“Not exactly. I was just wondering if you wanted… Umm…,” Lily said unsure how to even say what she was trying to say.

“You’re asking me out,” Mary said and stopped to crack a smile at Lily.

Lily felt herself turning red and wondered if there were somewhere convenient she could go and hide nearby.

“Yes. Well, no. I’m asking you in. Over, I mean. To my place. Dinner?” Lily stammered.

“OK. I’ll see you at six,” Mary said and continued on her way.

Lily quickly rushed back home. Somehow she hadn’t actually expected Mary to say yes. She thought she would have to build up more to that part and really sell it. Oh, Goddess, she didn’t even know what sort of food Mary liked. Lily got home and began to scramble to assemble a plan.

She definitely had enough time to bake a pie and she had just enough berries for the filling. She also prepared a special blend of wind spice tea that was a little sweeter than she normally would make. She wasn’t going to give it her special touch but it would still be special in its own way. Lily also baked some bread and prepared a decent stew.

Somehow, everything worked out and the food was ready just as Mary arrived at her door. Mary looked nice. She was wearing a nice pair of trousers and a thick woolen shirt, as autumn was at its height and winter was around the bend. Lily was wearing a nice warm brown blouse and red skirt, both of which she had sewn herself. She was thankful that no one asked her how she made the colours of her garments as vibrant as they were as that was a secret she would be unable to share with anyone.

“This looks lovely, Lily,” Mary said, sitting down at the table.

“Thank you,” Lily said.

Mary devoured the stew with a surprising fervor and went through two cups of the tea before the meal was done and it was time for dessert. While eating they discussed Mary’s family history. Much like James’s parents, her parents moved to the island before she was born, though they did not come from the kingdom.

Mary was an only child and was used to sticking to herself. She insisted that she was never alone as long as she kept herself company. Lily didn’t exactly understand but she knew a thing or two about loneliness.

“That was incredible, Lily,” Mary said, finishing her last bite of berry pie.

“Thanks. Thank you for coming over,” Lily said.

“No problem. I like what you’ve done with your home, by the way. The seashells are a nice touch,” Mary said, gesturing around at shells that were stuck to the top of all the walls in the house.

Lily smiled and nodded.

“It’s been my labour of love for a while now. My sister hates them but she’s never around anymore,” Lily said.

Mary frowned.

“I suppose I can see how it would get lonely. You’re on the edge of the village as it is,” Mary observed.

“Yeah. I mean Dorcas comes around and I sometimes see Sirius, Peter and James, but most of the time I’m by myself,” Lily said.

“Well, maybe I’ll have to start coming by,” Mary said with a grin.

“I would welcome that,” Lily replied.

* * *

 

When Mary suggested she might start coming by, Lily really didn’t expect it to be every day but that’s exactly how it was. Suddenly, she had a constant companion, albeit one who didn’t know her deepest secrets. Lily wanted to desperately tell her new companion about her secret nature but was afraid it would ruin everything and scare her off.

Autumn turned into winter and the six month anniversary of James, Sirius and Peter arriving into her life came. It also came time for her seventeenth birthday and she decided to celebrate everything at once: Two months of dating or whatever it was she was doing with Mary, six months of meeting her new friends and seventeen years of her existence.

Lily always felt darkly amused over the notion of a birthday. She supposed she had been born but only technically.

At Lily’s celebration there was a surprising amount of people, considering the previous year it had only been herself and Dorcas. This year she was joined by Mary, Dorcas, Peter, Sirius, James and Petrova.

Lily served wind spice tea to which she added just a touch of rum. It was very popular with the party guests. James brought a card game his parents had that they had brought with them from the kingdom for them all to play. Mary lead them in songs as it turned out she had not only a face of an angel but a voice like one too.

Lily had to admit she liked Petrova. She was a couple of years older than them all and had grown up on boats so she shared that admiration of being out at sea that James had developed. Petrova was tall, athletic and attractive. Lily wasn’t sure how serious things were between James and Petrova but they seemed to be having fun. That was nice.

She did find herself wishing Mary would kiss her like Petrova was kissing James. Or even the way Dorcas was kissing Peter. Poor Sirius seemed out of place with both of his best friends kissing girls on either side of him.

“How are you holding up?” Lily asked him.

Sirius waved a hand dismissively.

“Well enough. Don’t you know any handsome queer blokes you could invite to your parties?” Sirius said with a sheepish grin.

“I’m on the lookout. If I find him I’ll send him straight to the lighthouse, I promise,” Lily said.

“Cheers. Oh, the lighthouse. I have to get back there or Ab is going to _murder_ me,” Sirius said, though Lily was convinced Aberforth’s threats were mostly bluster.

“Are you going to be all right? You seem a little tipsy,” Lily said as Sirius pulled himself to his feet.

“I’m fine. I promise,” Sirius said with a smile down at her and patted her on the shoulder.

Lily sighed and let him pass. Sirius waved goodbye to everyone and left. Soon after James and Petrova left. She wondered if they were going back to his house together. She supposed it wasn’t any of her business but she couldn’t help but wonder.

Peter and Dorcas left next and she could be certain that Peter would be going home to his mother. This left just Lily and Mary. Mary was still singing and took a small swig of rum. She didn’t seem drunk but she was definitely at least as tipsy as Sirius had seemed.

“That was really nice. I like your friends. They’re good people,” Mary said, then finished singing the last verse of ‘The Captain and Bear’, a shanty about a rather eccentric captain who makes a bear his first mate and marries a statue of a water nymph.

“Do you suppose songs like that have a basis in fact?” Lily wondered.

Mary giggled.

“Maybe. I bet the real story isn’t as interesting though. If it’s not true, I don’t want to know,” Mary said.

Lily placed a hand on Mary’s face, pulling towards her. She wasn’t ready for Mary to leave. Slowly, she leaned down, pressing her lips into Mary’s, tasting the rum on her lips and her breath. Mary made a happy sound as they kissed before pulling away and startling Lily with a question: “How long have you been in love with James Potter?”

“Huh?” Lily replied.

“James Potter. You’re in love with him,” Mary said, sounding more amused than accusatory.

“I am not!” Lily said, feeling offended and backing away.

“Lily… I know what it looks like when someone is in love with someone. You can see it etched on their face. It’s like the universe is just a little bit brighter in the spot where the object of their affection exists. That’s how you look at James Potter,” Mary said, still smiling.

Lily felt tears welling up. No, James Potter was her friend. She definitely was _not_ in love with him. She shook her head and turned away.

“Listen, it’s OK. I still have an ex-boyfriend I’m in love with and it doesn’t stop me from having feelings for you,” Mary said.

Lily made an odd chirping sound then turned around in surprise. Mary had just confessed she had feelings for her.

“Isn’t it obvious? I assumed you felt the same way,” Mary said.

“Yeah, but… I didn’t know,” Lily said.

“I’m just saying… I want you to know that I know that you’re in love with him. It doesn’t matter to me. I think the whole monogamy thing is all stupid anyway. The only thing that matters is how we feel about each other. I don’t know where this is going but we’re having fun. I just don’t want you to think I’m going to be a jealous girlfriend or something,” Mary said.

Lily wiped her eyes then wrapped her arms around Mary, embracing her tightly. Lily wondered if this was how she felt too. If this is why seeing James and Petrova together didn’t bother her that much. Human beings had plenty of love to spread around. But on the other hand, James did seem so focused on Petrova. For the first time in a while, Lily felt a pang at the thought of James and Petrova together, possibly alone in his home, cuddling in bed and whispering in each other’s ears.

Lily said goodbye to Mary with another kiss and went to bed. Mary was right about Lily being in love with James. She realised that now. But now that she knew and had accepted it, it was killing her that she couldn’t share her feelings with James the way she could with Mary. 

Worst of all, she knew that her feelings for James were stronger than those for Mary and that made her feel so ashamed. Why couldn’t she control what she felt? She would give anything to banish her feelings for James from her mind if only so that she wouldn’t have to confront the shame of not feeling as strongly about her girlfriend.

* * *

 

Despite her conflicted feelings about Mary and James, spring came around and warmed Lily’s soul. James Potter had his birthday celebration at his house and Lily was stunned to find that Petrova wasn’t there.

“Where’s Petrova?” Lily asked.

“I’m afraid we’ve had a parting of ways,” James said with a small frown.

“Oh. I’m sorry,” Lily said, touching his arm affectionately.

“It’s fine. Things run their course. How are you and Mary doing?” James asked.

“Good. She keeps dragging to me to the beach. I keep telling her it’s not summer yet and the water is still cold but she loves to swim,” Lily said, and glanced over at her girlfriend with fondness, who was laughing and dancing to the music that came from James’s phonograph.

As the day wore on they all became hot from all the dancing, laughing and playing games, not to mention some of Lily’s tea. It was James who suggested they all go take a dip in his pond.

They all laughed as they followed him outside. Lily knew that no matter how hot they all felt his pond was going to be cold. Large green leaves covered the surface of the pond, all of autumn’s leaves long gone away.

James stripped down completely and stood on the edge of the pond.

“Clothes are not allowed in my pond, sorry,” James said then jumped in with a splash and a grin.

Mary was the next to disrobe, to Lily’s surprise. Mary made sure to watch Lily’s face as she removed her undergarments. Lily smiled but felt embarrassed. She had never seen her girlfriend naked before. 

In the meantime, Sirius and Peter had disrobed and Lily began to remove her clothes as well. She had no fear or shame of being nude but she was aware that she wasn’t normally naked in front of other people. Mary smiled at Lily’s nudity and she was almost certain she caught James Potter giving her a once over before glancing away as well.

Lily slowly entered the water, finding it to be every bit as cold as she expected. It took several minutes for her body to warm itself again. Mary sang a slow, quiet hymn about the Goddess while they all relaxed.

Lily closed her eyes and let warmth fill her body. This was nice. There was just something so freeing about being casually naked in the company of others, she found. It was a pure experience and it filled her with happiness.

Suddenly, Mary yelped. Lily opened her eyes and yelped too. The water had turned a shade of light pink and it was definitely warmer than it was before.

“Oh, no,” Lily said.

Mary climbed out in a panic, wrapping her arms around herself from the sudden coolness of the spring ocean breeze.

“What is that? Did you put something in the pond, James?” Mary said and laughed, clearly not as scared as she seemed at first.

“No. I mean, it’s Lily obviously,” James said.

Mary looked at Lily with confusion.

“So… Lily put something in the water?” Mary asked.

Lily sighed, realising that she had definitely made a mistake.

“No. I did it on accident. I wasn’t thinking. I lost control,” Lily said.

“I… I don’t understand,” Mary said, frowning.

“I can do things. I can do things like change the colour and temperature of water. And rescue three castaway boys from drowning. I’m sorry I never told you,” Lily said, horrified at her own poor judgment.

“But I always thought those things were just nasty rumours. Goddess, Lily. We’ve been seeing each other for five months and you never told me,” Mary said, sounding hurt.

“I’m sorry. I was worried you wouldn’t understand,” Lily said.

“Why wouldn’t I understand? I love you, Lily. If these three can understand why couldn’t I?” Mary said.

Lily’s eyes filled with tears and she pulled herself out of the pool. Mary was scooping up her clothes.

“No, don’t. Just leave me alone for now, OK. I need some time to myself,” Mary said and like that, she was gone.

Lily didn’t reenter the pond, instead standing in the sunlight, letting it dry off her body. She had never felt the sun on her body like this before. She imagined the heat was burning the pain of her mistake from her body but it was no use.

By failing to be honest with Mary she had almost certainly ruined that relationship. Perhaps they would go on as friends but she didn’t think they would be sharing any more sweet kisses anytime soon. Eventually the boys climbed out of the pond, all giving her condolences that she didn’t deserve. She messed up and she had to live with that and learn from it.

* * *

 

A few days later Mary came by Lily’s home to confirm their break up. She was actually nice about it. She said that she still loved Lily but they needed to start over from the bottom and it might take a while to rebuild that trust.  They hugged then said their goodbyes.

Regardless of whatever was promised that evening, Lily didn’t see much of Mary for the rest of the spring. She did, however, see a bit more of James Potter who came by one morning to finally return her copy of ‘Navigator, Baker and Clockmaker’.

“This book really got me thinking, Lily. I want to learn more about mechanisms and technology. One day I may have to return to the kingdom,” James said.

“You aren’t thinking of leaving us,” Lily said.

“No, no. There’s still a lot of work to be done, not to mention we still don’t have any boats,” James said.

“Summer is coming. We usually get some visitors then. They aren’t our boats but they sometimes trade or transport passengers to and from here. You could buy passage on one of them,” Lily said.

James considered this prospect but shook his head.

“I don’t think I’m ready yet. Maybe in a couple of years. Besides, I think we can build our own boat,” James said.

“Where will we get the wood?” Lily asked.

“There’s plenty of wood on this island for a small boat. Once that’s built we can work on establishing trade routes again. If we all pull together we can pull this island out of its stagnation,” James said, smiling in a reassuring sort of way.

Lily took the book from him and went to put it back on her shelf. James followed her over, and stood right next to her. Lily always noticed when James was in close proximity to her. She could almost feel his body heat, though she was probably imagining that.

“So what now?” James asked.

“Huh? What do you mean?” Lily asked.

“What book are you going to share with me now?” James replied.

“Oh. Of course. Hmm…”

Lily looked over her shelves. Most of these books had been purchased by her parents before she was born back when traders were more common here.

“What about this one?” James said, pointing at a black book with the letters GG printed on it in gold, which was definitely the last possible one she would ever want to lend him.

“Not that one,” she said, as James pulled it off the shelf.

James looked down at it with curiosity.

“‘Who is Gellert Grindelwald?” James asked.

“An author. This is his autobiography,” Lily said.

So, it turned out that she could speak of Grindelwald if it was in this context.

“Is it any good?” James asked.

“No. It’s excessive with self-aggrandising and delusions of grandeur. He seems to be a pathetic man who wanted to lift his own glory. And frankly, he’s a prick. Excuse my language,” Lily said, not normally being the sort to swear.

James chuckled and turned the book over.

“Are you sure he’s a real person?” James asked.

Suddenly, Lily tried to reply but was unable. So she couldn’t say that she knew for sure that he was a real person. But would James catch the hint?

“I think I want to read this anyway. It might be entertaining,” James said, definitely not getting the hint.

“Suit yourself. Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” Lily groaned, deciding to let it go for the moment.

James took the book and left, leaving Lily to wonder if she would ever be able to share the truth with the object of her desire.

* * *

 

Summer came and with it, the one year anniversary of Lily rescuing her new friends from the water. Rather than the big celebrations that had accompanied the other birthdays and anniversaries in the last year, they decided to share a more intimate affair at James’s house with wine and music on the phonograph.

Lily felt all four of them had grown so much in the last year. Not so much physically but more in terms of their personalities. Lily herself had learned that she could be herself and be accepted. She had also learned that she was capable of so much love. And she learned that she really enjoyed kissing.

Sirius already seemed far less posh than he had when he first arrived on the island. She could also tell Ab was rubbing off on him. Sirius had taken to swearing and sarcasm a lot more.

Peter was coming out of his shell and pulling away from his mother a little bit, but Lily had to admit that Peter had changed the least. But she figured there was still time for him.

James had grown the most. He was no longer the boy who stole an island’s only boat on a whim and got arrested for piracy. He was a man. He was kind and giving and his work had improved the community. James claimed to have given two-thirds of the wealth his family had saved up to the villagers, mostly to the less fortunate ones who had little means of making money on their own.

James had performed countless services for the villagers and everyone adored him…. Especially Lily. Whatever it was she had felt for James before had changed and grown too. It was no longer a confusing and all-encompassing feeling but rather a more genuine love for the man he was becoming.

She no longer just imagined herself kissing him and how fun and exciting it would be. She imagined so much more than she had before. She imagined a version of her life in which he was fully integrated into it. She wanted them to make each other breakfast in the morning. She wanted to impress him with the million and one variations of her tea blends she could create. She didn’t want to just let him borrow her books, she wanted them to read them to each other.

She wanted James Potter to be an understood and constant part of her life and she wanted it more than anything else she had ever wanted before. But she still had no idea how to make it happen. Sure, she had just asked Mary out but this wasn’t like that. This was important. She couldn’t screw this up for herself. She needed to take her time and let it grow and develop. So for now she would have to settle for being a valued friend. She was fine with that for the moment.

Eventually, Sirius and Peter left and James and Lily stood on his front porch, looking out at the village and the coast as the sun was setting. Lily had an urge to grab James’s hand and hold it but resisted.

“I finished the Grindelwald book. You were right. It is terrible. But he mentioned something that caught my eye. He talks a lot about stories in that book. Seems he fancied himself a writer of fiction, albeit one who was unappreciated, in his view at least. He claims that no matter what anyone thought, he was writing the greatest story anyone had ever written,” James said, and gave Lily a curious glance.

“He also mentioned a girl that he had been dreaming of… she had red hair and green eyes. He didn’t say anything about her or this story he was working on again for the rest of the book,” James said.

Lily wanted so badly to explain to him the question she knew was now on James’s mind: Was she a real person or a story created by Gellert Grindelwald? The answer, of course, was that she was neither. Grindelwald didn’t create her. The Goddess had no doubt created her, just like she had created everything.

Would she exist now in the flesh and blood if it weren’t for Grindelwald? That was less clear. And what about the other man, the one who had stopped Grindelwald? She still sometimes dreamed of his twinkling eyes that strangely reminded her of Aberforth.

No, Grindelwald didn’t create her. He manipulated her for his own purposes. Thankfully, he was gone now, as far as she knew.

“You can’t say anything, can you?” James said.

Lily closed her eyes and shook her head.

James sighed.

“Lily… I was wondering. You see… it gets lonely up here. It’s such a big house for one person. Sirius is always busy with the lighthouse and Peter is busy with his mother or seeing your friend, Dorcas. I know you love your home and have put a lot of work into it, but I can’t help but think that you might be well served by moving up here with me. My home is more than twice the size of yours and I have plenty of space for all your belongings,” James said.

“Are you being serious?” Lily said, her eyes wide with shock.

“Very. You could also grow all the berries and other vegetables in the backyard that you could possibly imagine. The soil is perfect for it,” James said.

The possibilities swirled through Lily’s mind. On the one hand, she had always lived in the village and was used to interacting with the villagers. She might feel isolated up on the hill. On the other hand, she could offer her home to someone who couldn’t afford their own, and helping James might be good.

And just like that, Lily said, “OK,” and shook James’s hand.

 


	4. The Battle

Lily didn’t move in with James immediately. She first needed time to prepare things. Her first task was removing each and every seashell from the walls of her home. It was not only time consuming but a bit sad. She had been collecting them for years and there were many memories attached to each of them.

In a way, the removal of the shells reflected the entire process of moving from her home. She was pulling down memories and putting them in wooden boxes. Dorcas helped Lily as much as she could, though she seemed to take a bit too much pleasure in helping her sort books into boxes.

When it came time to sell the house Lily turned to someone she knew who had recently been kicked out of her home: Mary MacDonald.

“You’re giving me your home,” Mary said, looking surprised.

“No. I’m selling it to you, very cheaply,” Lily said.

“Ten copper is nothing. It’s a month’s pay but to own my own home… I don’t deserve that,” Mary said.

“Don’t be ridiculous. Please, it would mean a lot to me if you would take it,” Lily said.

Mary nodded then quickly hugged Lily.

“All right. I’ll buy your home, Lily Evans.”

* * *

 

In addition to herself, James, Sirius, Peter, Dorcas and Mary, James hired several other townspeople to help Lily move her stuff to ensure they could do it one trip. It was early autumn, and it rained. Lily worried there might be storms coming but James claimed he had spent enough time at sea to know better.

Once everything was moved to James’s house, the next task was for Lily to set about making the space feel more comforting. She moved into James’s parents’s old room, which surprisingly meant she got a larger space than he did and an even larger bed.

Oh, Lily loved the furniture in that room and filling the room with her books and seashells was a thrill. James also allowed her to add some seashells to the rest of the house though she didn’t have enough to cover the all the walls like she had in her home.

Lily also went to work on prepping the garden for the spring. It was late autumn by that point so it wouldn’t do much good to plant much at the moment. But she could still prepare the soil and plan the garden out.

Lily enjoyed that first autumn of life with James Potter immensely. They both often went down to the village to work and Lily enjoyed the walks back to the house with him in the evenings. She saw a great deal more of Sirius and Peter but consequently a lot less of Dorcas or Mary.

James largely gave Lily the freedom to do whatever she wanted in his home. She mostly found herself enjoying sitting on her balcony, sipping wind spice tea and watching leaves fall onto the pond, in shades of brown, yellow, gold and orange.

There was also, of course, the matter of Lily’s serious romantic interest in James Potter and she wasn’t the least bit surprised that actually living with him only made the problem worse. And he didn’t help the problems of physical attraction either as he had a tendency to walk around with his shirt off, even when it was cold in the house. One morning she walked downstairs to find James wearing only a pair of tightly clinging shorts while he stretched and groaned next to the kitchen sink. _That_ was an image that got Lily through many restless nights.

Though her dream of herself and James reading to each other wasn’t yet a reality, the book share still continued with Lily giving several of her favourites to him. She even gave him a copy of a recent favourite, ‘Anna Feather’. ‘Anna Feather’ was a novel about a lonely woman who runs off with a sailor. A lot of them were like that but Anna did things a little differently. For one thing, Lily bought the romance for once. She also appreciated that Anna had agency.

Lily was a little embarrassed to share it because it was rather bawdy but she supposed it was nothing that would shock James Potter. He was a man of the world, after all.

Still, Lily was surprised when he brought it back saying how much he enjoyed it and wondering if she had any others by the same author. She was disappointed to have to tell him she didn’t but he declared that he would definitely seek more of her out if he ever left the island.

James had finally constructed a boat by winter time, with some help from around the town. It wasn’t very large at all, but once spring came it would allow them to travel to other islands.

“Come with me,” James said.

Lily turned towards him curiously as he walked up the plank onto the boat.

“Where to?” Lily asked.

“The maiden voyage of this boat!” James said, arms spread proudly towards the sky.

“Not right now, I hope,” Lily chuckled.

“Of course not. Come spring. Let’s set out on my birthday,” James said.

“I suppose,” Lily said and gave him a coy smile.

She found it harder and harder to say no to James Potter.

* * *

 

Before Lily’s first trip out to sea could occur there was the not insubstantial matter of Lily’s eighteenth birthday. This was the first major gathering of friends since Lily had moved in, though this time it was just the boys and Dorcas who came by.

Dorcas had recently taken to asking Lily if she had kissed James yet every time they saw each other.

“No. Nothing is happening. We’re just friends,” Lily said within the confines of her bedroom.

Dorcas groaned and doubled over from frustration.

“What are you waiting for?” Dorcas said.

“This seems to be bothering you more than it is me,” Lily said.

Dorcas adjusted her glasses, her dark brown eyes seemingly judging Lily.

“You like him. He likes you. I don’t see why you both won’t just go for it,” Dorcas said, throwing her hands up.

“I don’t know that he feels the same thing I do for him. Don’t get me wrong… I can tell by the way he looks at me that he finds me attractive. And certainly, he likes me as a friend and a roommate. But I’m in love with him and I have so much on the line. My heart deserves taking the time to see what develops,” Lily said, sitting next to Dorcas on her bed.

“To hell with that! You’ve been letting things develop for a year and a half! I, for one, have had enough,” Dorcas said, crossing her arms over her chest.

Lily laughed and eventually so did Dorcas.

“It’ll happen when it happens… if it happens,” Lily said.

“Don’t say that. I’ll hear nothing of the sort,” Dorcas said as they left the room.

But Dorcas Meadowes wasn’t done trying to motivate Lily to make a move on James yet that night. Just as the party was winding down and Sirius and Peter had headed off, Dorcas dashed up to Lily’s room, bursting in without even knocking. Lily was startled but had only been looking at a book.

“Lily! You will _not believe_ what James Potter has just told me!” Dorcas said.

“There are lots of things I might believe, Dorcas. Are you sure it’s something that James would want me to know?” Lily asked.

“Why would he tell me if he didn’t want you to know?” Dorcas asked, seeming genuinely perplexed.

Lily tilted her head skeptically at Dorcas, though she had to admit that James must’ve at least suspected that Dorcas would run and blab to her best friend.

“You are killing me, Evans!” Dorcas said, practically stomping her feet.

“Oh, all right. Go ahead,” Lily said, waving her hand at her poor, tormented friend.

“I asked James what had gone wrong with him and Petrova last year. He looked me straight in the eyes and said a single word: Lily,” Dorcas said.

Lily’s mouth dropped open. She was genuinely stunned. She sat down at her writing desk, trying to process this information.

“Me? How could it have been my fault?” Lily said.

“Not your fault. James’s fault. Petrova probably realised how hung up he was on you and decided she didn’t want to compete,” Dorcas said.

Lily felt her heart began to pound and it was like she was back on the beach again, lips brushing his in that moment she kept coming back to, even now.

“What do I do? Should I apologise?” Lily asked.

“No! You should go to him and tell him how you feel!” Dorcas said.

Lily shook her head.

“I can’t do that,” Lily said.

“You are a lost cause, Lily. The man you love basically just confessed to your best friend he’s been pining for you badly enough that it cost him his girlfriend and you don’t want to do anything,” Dorcas said.

“I know you’re disappointed in me,” Lily said, feeling bad.

Dorcas scoffed and shook her head.

“I’m not disappointed in you. I’m heartbroken for you. You _deserve_ this,” Dorcas said, then left.

A few minutes later, Lily stopped wiping tears from her eyes and decided to hell with it! She would say something. Lily ran out of her room but found the house to be dark and empty. She could hear soft sounds of snoring coming from James’s room. He was already asleep.

* * *

 

That night Lily had the sort of dream she hadn’t had since the night her parents died. She had believed those days were over, that she was free. She was wrong.

It began as they always did. She opened her eyes and found herself standing in an aurora of colour, shape and sound. An old man stood there but it was not the one she expected. He looked strangely like Ab.

“Lily Evans,” the old man said.

He had long silver hair and a beard to match as well as those familiar twinkling eyes.

“Do I know you?” Lily asked.

“Not exactly. But you can consider me a friend. My name is Albus Dumbledore. I believe you know my younger brother,” the old man said.

Lily’s eyes went wide. This was the Dumbledore the boys had mentioned meeting!

“You met my friends… James, Sirius and Peter?” Lily asked.

Albus nodded.

“Listen to me, Miss Evans. Gellert Grindelwald still seeks the Book of Dreams. I imprisoned him four years ago when he last tried to take control of you, but he has escaped. I fear that he may have made a copy of the book. I will do my best to fight him but this will require your help as well,” Albus said.

Lily was awash with pain. The last time Grindelwald came for her, he killed her parents in an attempt to gain control of her. Then something had happened, though she now knew what that something was.

“I will do whatever it takes to protect myself, this island and the ones I love,” Lily said.

In the past these meetings had been with Grindelwald himself. They had not been pleasant. He only saw her as a powerful tool he could use to terrorise the world. Lily was _not_ a sword but she could be a shield if she needed to be.

“I worry that if he can’t have you, he may try to destroy you… erase you from reality,” Albus said.

“What am I? What am I truly?” Lily pleaded.

“What did _he_ tell you?” Albus inquired.

“Grindelwald told me I was a pure creation of the Goddess that he had used the Book of Dreams to weave into reality… He wrote my life as a story after coming to this island and meeting my parents. My mother was pregnant at the time. Pregnant with someone. Not me,” Lily said, feeling disturbed by that thought.

“Did he tell you why you can’t tell anyone anything about your true nature?” Albus said.

“He said he wouldn’t let me,” Lily said.

“Then how come you still are unable even after he was imprisoned?” Albus replied.

Lily didn’t know the answer to that, though she had been disappointed when he had been defeated and she still wasn’t able to tell anyone anything.

“Then why _can’t_ I tell anyone?” Lily said.

“Because some secrets are so dangerous that even the ones who create them dare not speak them,” Albus said.

“You’re saying that I’m the one preventing myself from telling anyone? That’s _ridiculous_. I’ve tried! I’ve tried so hard I nearly made myself pass out!” Lily protested.

“Utterly futile attempts. It’s simply not possible,” Albus said.

Lily was getting fed up with all of Dumbledore’s cryptic hints.

“What. In the name of the Goddess. Am I?” Lily shouted.

Albus raised an eyebrow and said, “You _are_ the Goddess.”

Lily held her breath for a moment, not expecting that response.

“That’s not possible. I pray to the Goddess… are you saying I’m praying to myself?” Lily said.

“Not exactly. The Book of Dreams is a powerful tool that has existed for millennia in many different forms. What greater tool could Gellert Grindelwald have at his disposal than a deity? Of course, the Goddess is only an abstract concept. Nevertheless, he yanked the Goddess from her immortal tether and forced her to be reborn as a human… a human he thought he could control,” Dumbledore said.

If Lily had been actually standing she might’ve fallen over. This was… a lot to take in.

“So I _am_ human. I’m mortal,” Lily said.

“Essentially. You might live longer than most humans but some day you will die and the Goddess will return to her prior existence,” Albus said.

“How long until Grindelwald finds me?” Lily said.

“There’s no way to be certain. I suspect you still have some time,” Dumbledore said.

* * *

 

Lily woke up from the dream feeling overwhelmed but empowered. She got up from bed and opened the doors to her balcony, looking out at the morning sun.

“Morning, Lils,” James called from across his balcony, standing in only his shorts once again.

Lily looked him over and didn’t try to hide it at all. She still wasn’t ready to broach the subject of feelings yet, but she didn’t mind a little flirting.

“You want some tea, James?” Lily asked.

“That would be nice,” James said.

Once they were both a little more dressed and downstairs, Lily served them both tea then sat down to contemplate the new information she was now presented with.

“I had a dream last night,” Lily said.

“Was it a good one?” James asked, flinching as he attempted a sip of tea that was still too hot.

“Sort of. I learned some things. It was a lot of hard, complicated truths. Some I was glad to learn and others, I was not. I don’t think I can go with you on your boat trip. I’m sorry. I don’t think it would be safe for either of us,” Lily said.

“What could possibly hurt you?” James asked, scratching his head.

“You know I can’t tell you anything,” Lily said.

“Is it Grindelwald?” James asked.

Lily couldn’t reply, not even to tell him that he was correct. 

“Right,” James said, and shook his head, realising the futility of attempting to get anything out of her.

“I’m sorry,” Lily said.

“If you’re in danger, I want to help,” James insisted.

“You can’t. You’ll die just like my parents-” Lily started then turned away from him.

Lily couldn’t bear the thought of losing James like she lost them.

“No. I have to do this alone. You have to promise me, James Potter. Promise me you won’t interfere. I may be distant and evasive in the coming months. You mustn’t take it personally. You’re a treasured friend and I care about you far more than you know,” Lily said, reaching over and taking his hand.

James smiled, closed his eyes and nodded in the affirmative.

* * *

 

A waiting game began and Lily began to explore her abilities more than ever. She would dig her hands into the dirt of her garden and feel the earth and all the life it contained. She learned to trace the roots and the paths they wove and she could feel the worms and other insects as they crawled around.

She also practiced in the pond. She touched her palm to the water and changed the colour, temperature or even consistency of the water.

James, thankfully, gave her the space and privacy she requested, though she also missed his presence. His birthday came and he took his voyage alone, returning a couple of weeks later with brand new trade goods and a promise that more ships were going to start coming again.

James started making those trips once every two months. Lily always looked forward to when she would hear the front door open and he came striding in. She would run to him and embrace him tightly, wishing she could do so much more than that.

And then he was gone most of the summer and Lily became very lonely indeed. When he returned at the end of the summer, Lily chose to wait for him at the dock to greet him as soon as he stepped off the boat.

“Hey! Did you miss me?” James said as Lily nearly tackled him.

“Yes,” Lily said and gave him a small peck on the cheek, despite her best restraint.

James was home for an entire month after that and many nights of drinks and games commenced at his home. It was good to see more of Sirius and Peter again. Sirius had really come into his own as assistant lighthouse keeper and now that there were actual ships around he really had a chance to prove himself to Ab.

Lily realised that she hadn’t been by to see Ab since she dreamed of his brother. She asked Sirius how he was doing and he indicated he was mostly the same, though he had developed a bad cough as of late.

Peter said his mother was doing better but it still wasn’t clear what had been wrong with her in the first place. Lily had been continuing to elect not to press Peter on matters of his mother as it only seemed to make him uncomfortable.

Dorcas Meadowes showed up one night with quite a significant surprise in the form of her date, Mary MacDonald.

“Look at this, Lily. I’ve managed to start dating your ex-girlfriend before you’ve managed to make anything happen with James Potter,” Dorcas said with a wink.

Lily shrugged, having no desire to rehash that conversation again. Instead, she gave Mary and Dorcas hugs and invited them inside.

Lily had been thinking a lot lately about her relationship with James. She had decided the coming conflict with Grindelwald needed to be resolved before she could consider truly pursuing a relationship with him.

* * *

 

Autumn faded and winter came again and nearly a year had passed since Dumbledore’s warning. Lily began traveling to the beach at night and watching the coast. One night, something finally happened.

The night sky suddenly grew darker and the moon seemed to disappear. It began to rain. Only a fool would stand and let herself get soaked by winter rain but Lily was no fool and she pushed the cold out, letting her body warm. She was ready. Her fingertips thrummed and her skin felt hot.

And then she felt something grab her, almost like a giant hand had her in its grasp. Grindelwald was here.

“I am not your toy, Grindelwald!” Lily screamed and a flash of red exploded as she knocked herself from his grasp.

The world around her suddenly became a mix of reality and the distant aurora of her dreams. She could see his silhouette and the silhouette of another, clearly Albus Dumbledore.

“She’s mine, Albus. I created her!” Grindelwald shrieked.

“Let her go, Gellert. Let her go!” Albus shouted.

Lily released another burst of energy and found herself tossed back onto the beach, hitting the wet sand hard. Lily pulled herself up, coughing and lamenting how badly her dress had been torn. There would be no repairing it.

“I’ll destroy them! I’ll destroy them all!” Grindelwald shouted and Lily dashed towards the village.

Lily was confident that she had never run that fast before. She was practically gliding along the beach, sending streams of colours in her wake. She arrived at the village in horror to see James’s boat lifted in the air. The village was asleep, wholly unaware of the terror that was about to besiege them.

Lily screamed and thrust her arms at the boat, right as it began to fly towards the village. The boat exploded in flames and Lily felt the grip of Grindelwald knocked away. The villagers woke up in a hurry in order to see what had happened. Lily was thankful all of the flaming boat parts had gone in the water and she raced down the beach to find Grindelwald.

Everything became uncomfortably still. The darkness hadn’t passed so he was definitely still near.

“I know who I am, Grindelwald. I am not what you said I am. I am the Goddess and I am far more powerful than you will ever be,” Lily said, amazed to discover that she could speak the words as long as no one was around to hear them.

“You’re just a little girl. You are no match for me,” his voice echoed in her mind.

“I am a _woman_ and I am stronger than you. If you were so powerful you wouldn’t even need me, would you?” Lily snarled.

“I tire of your mouth. Fine. If you will not submit to me then I will erase you completely,” Grindelwald sneered.

Lily screamed as she felt a horrifying burning and cutting sensation all over her body. Her life began to flash in front of her eyes in fragments and pieces. She saw her childhood and her troubled relationship with her sister. She saw her parents dead on the beach. She saw herself rescuing James, Sirius and Peter. She saw that day on the beach where she and James nearly kissed and she saw herself kissing Dorcas and Mary. 

She saw herself moving in with James. Then she saw the end of this battle, herself kneeling on the beach and Grindelwald gone forever. She then saw things from the future she didn’t want to see and she desperately tried to look away, only catching flashes. She wanted to see if things between her and James would work out but resisted the temptation. If she didn’t like the future, the knowledge of what was going to happen might be more than she could take.

Finally, there was just her in the aurora of dreams, Grindelwald standing there looking triumphant.

“Almost there. I’ve almost done it,” he said with a trickster’s smile.

Lily lifted herself up and walked up to him. She had had enough.

“The Goddess finds you unworthy,” Lily said and rammed a fist into Grindelwald.

He howled and there was a great explosion of colour of lights that sent her flying back against the wet sand as the shroud of darkness lifted from the island. And then she heard a familiar voice calling to her.

“Lily!” James called, dashing over to her.

“James?” Lily said as he slid beside her, wrapping an arm around her back.

“You’re alive! I was so scared,” James said, holding her tightly with obvious desperation.

“It’s over. I’m free at last,” Lily said, her body suddenly feeling very heavy and tired.

James pulled away and suddenly she was aware of his lips and just how near they were. James leaned in to her and she pushed her lips into his, tears rolling down her cheeks as the moment she never thought would come, came at last.

It felt like they held their lips together forever and when James pulled away it was still far too soon.

“Let’s get you back home,” James said and stood up then lifted her to her feet.

* * *

 

Lily and James hadn’t had an opportunity to discuss any feelings or where they wanted things to go as Lily passed out as soon as she found her bed. And then she had another dream.

Albus Dumbledore greeted her once more.

“Grindelwald will not bother you again,” Dumbledore said.

“Is he dead?” Lily asked.

“No. Though he’s not really alive anymore either. He’s imprisoned and powerless. The Book of Dreams no longer responds to him and his copy has been destroyed. Only the original remains and I am locking it somewhere I believe it will never be found,” Dumbledore said.

“Thank you,” Lily said.

“It was nothing. I only regret I had not stopped him in the first place,” Dumbledore said, seeming distantly sad.

“I don’t know. I think I’m enjoying this life. Maybe once I go back to being… whatever it is I am, I’ll have learned something about mortality and love,” Lily said.

“Perhaps so,” Dumbledore said with a smile and Lily went back to a dreamless sleep.

 


	5. The View from Across the Pond

It wasn’t until Lily’s nineteenth birthday when she and James finally sat down to discuss what it was that was happening between them and whether it was even something they wanted to let happen. Lily found James standing at the pond out back which now had a thin layer of ice over it thanks to a significantly cold winter that had developed. Even the ground was lightly speckled with snow that she knew wouldn’t stick.

“Aren’t you cold?” Lily asked, seeing that James was just wearing a shirt and trousers. 

“Yeah,” he said then laughed.

Lily, on the other hand, was at the very least wearing a nice, woolen sweater.

“Happy birthday,” James said.

“Thank you,” Lily said.

Lily grabbed his shivering right hand and wrapped her hand around it as best she could. She closed her eyes and let warmth fill her body then transfer over to him.

“Whoa,” James said.

Lily chuckled and held her hand in place.

“I really like you, James,” Lily said.

James turned to her and smiled, though he wasn’t sure how well he could see her with frost on his glasses.

“I like you too, Lily,” James said.

“So what do we do?” Lily asked

James quickly leaned down and pressed his cold lips into hers and she breathed ethereal heat into his mouth, no doubt filling him with warmth. James let out a soft moan then pulled away.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t do that. It must be weird,” Lily said.

“Don’t be ridiculous. I like you just the way you are,” James said then kissed her again, inhaling her warmth before pulling away again.

“I feel like we’re doing this all wrong,” Lily said.

“What do you mean?” James asked.

“I don’t know. Our… whatever this is, is just beginning, even though we’ve been living together for a year and a half,” Lily said.

“So, let’s take it slow,” James said.

Lily laughed and shook her head.

“I’ve been waiting for two and a half years. Maybe not _too_ slow…” Lily replied with a chuckle.

“You know what I mean. We know how we work as friends. Let’s take the time to explore each other as lovers. There’s no need to rush it when we have the rest of our lives ahead of us,” James said.

Lily still wished she had watched her future that night of the battle with Grindelwald but she knew that the price could’ve been too much to pay. If she had discovered that things would end badly between her and James she wasn’t sure she would’ve been able to handle it.

“All right. Though I think we can both agree we enjoy _this_ ,” Lily said and gave James a final, slow kiss before they both went back inside, hand in hand.

* * *

 

All of their friends arrived that evening. Lily was both surprised and pleased to see that Dorcas and Mary were still together and this time she made sure to quickly kiss James as soon as Dorcas entered the house. Dorcas screamed, pumped her fist in victory then kissed Mary for good measure.

Lily couldn’t help but notice that Peter occasionally gave Dorcas forlorn glances and she felt bad for him. She wasn’t sure exactly what had happened between him and Dorcas but she was glad they still seemed to be at least sort of friends.

Loneliness seemed to be taking a toll on Sirius Black. A grimness had taken over his face and he laughed less than he used to.

“How are you doing?” Lily asked Sirius as he sipped his wine.

“Ab isn’t well. I’m not sure he’s going to make it through this winter,” Sirius said, giving Lily a meaningful glance.

Lily felt her heart sink. Ab had always been a pleasant part of her life, even though he was a bit of a grump. She felt bad that she had been by to see him so little recently. She also wished she could tell him about seeing his brother, but she knew there was no way the words could ever be spoken.

The following week, Lily resolved to go see Ab at the lighthouse. Sirius led her inside and up the stairs to Ab’s room. Ab lay in his bed looking rather unwell. His breath was thick and wheezy.

“Hi, Ab,” Lily said.

“Hello, Lily,” Aberforth said.

She wanted to ask him how he was feeling but realised that question might be pointless.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been around much lately,” Lily said.

Ab chuckled.

“Have a boyfriend now, do you?” Ab said.

“Yes. I think I do,” Lily replied.

“That’s good. Say, Sirius, can you give us some privacy for a moment,” Ab said.

“Of course,” Sirius said, giving a nod to them both and going back downstairs.

“Lily, I received a letter from my brother recently. Don’t ask me how he got it here. On some boat or the other. But he told me that you are safe now. That whatever it was that you were going through has ended. That makes me feel a lot better about… having to leave you now,” Ab said.

“You knew about me?” Lily asked, stifling an urge to cry.

Ab nodded.

“Oh, yes. My brother sent me here years ago. We don’t really get along anymore, if I’m being honest. But he’s still a powerful man. He sent me here because he knew that old boyfriend of his, Grindelwald, had set his sights on this island,” Ab said.

“His boyfriend?” Lily said with shock.

Ab chuckled then coughed. It sounded painful.

“Yes, yes. They were involved when they were younger. It’s a long story. The important thing is that he knew Grindelwald was going to do something here. Apparently, that something involved you because after you were born Albus sent me a letter, telling me to watch out for you,” Ab said.

Lily wasn’t sure how to process this information.

“You’re telling me that you were here to watch over me all along?” Lily said.

“Yes. Not that I actually did any good. Seems you stopped Grindelwald all on your own,” Ab said.

Lily walked over and a placed a hand on his and squeezed.

“Thank you. I’m glad there was someone who knew what I was going through on the island,” Lily said.

* * *

 

Ab died three weeks later, just as spring was starting to creep back into the world. They buried him behind the lighthouse, overlooking the sea. In his will, Ab left Sirius everything, as well as the responsibility of lighthouse keeper.

“I guess we’ll be seeing even less of you now,” James said as they all stood at the top of the lighthouse, watching the waves below.

“Perhaps. It’s a large responsibility. I want to do right by Ab’s memory,” Sirius said.

“You’re a good man, Sirius Black,” James said and he slapped Sirius on the back while Sirius grinned.

Spring came and they really didn’t see much of Sirius at all. When they did see him, Lily was happy that darkness had lifted from his face. She realised how hard it had been on him to watch Ab die. As much as his death probably hurt, there must’ve been some relief when the suffering had ended. 

On the other hand, James and Lily were beginning to spend even more time together. Lily had begun inviting James to her bed so that she could read to him from some of her favourite books.

There was something about seeing a man so much larger than her curling up beside her and laying his head on his shoulder that was so endearing and sweet. It was oddly innocent and she liked to lean over and give him tiny kisses on the nose.

They still didn’t do much more than kiss, though at this point Lily was feeling sort of ready for more. Living with a man as gorgeous as James Potter for so long had planted many delicious thoughts in her mind and having him in her bed wasn’t making matters any easier.

Lily even started reading another novel from the author of ‘Anna Feather’ in the hopes that it might create the appropriate mood, but James always lay there, following her every word.

After she had finished the novel, James started to get up but instead Lily placed a hand on his face and quickly pressed her mouth into his. Lily rolled on top of James, their mouths hungry and their hands roaming over each other’s bodies.

James felt so strong and firm. She liked the way his big hands felt when they gripped her hips. She felt desperate and hot. She wanted every part of her to touch every part of him.

James’s lips found her throat and softly sucked, making her moan and giving her goose pimples. She imagined how his soft, full lips would feel all over her body and quivered inside, wanting desperately to satisfy her ache.

Lily put her lips to James’s ear and whispered, “I want to make love to you.”

James kissed her cheek and replied, “I… I don’t think I’m ready. I’m sorry.”

Lily pulled up and looked down at him with surprise.

“Oh… I thought you had done this before,” Lily said.

James laughed and shook his head, looking shy.

“But you and Petrova…” Lily said.

“Petrova’s not so interested in sex. Which was fine, really. She just liked sleeping together… you know… _really_ sleeping together. Cuddling,” James said as Lily slid back next to him.

Lily thought it odd that she felt a bigger pang of jealousy for the idea of them cuddling than she ever did them having sex.

“But all that time on the sea… surely,” Lily said.

James shook his head and said, “Nah. What? With Peter and Sirius around all the time?”

Lily wasn’t sure what to say next. She wanted to have sex with him but she didn’t want to pressure him or make him feel uncomfortable.

“We can wait for as long as you want,” Lily said.

“Thanks. I mean… don’t get me wrong. The physical desire is there. You’re so attractive that it’s practically obscene. But I don’t know… I don’t think there’s anything sacred or magical about sex… well, maybe with you it will be a _little_ magical, but I mean... I don’t like rushing things. I like savouring the special moments,” James said.

“I understand,” Lily said honestly.

She also just kind of wanted to satisfy that urge at almost any cost and realised that it was no wonder sex was so popular, even without procreation as a consideration.

“And I mean… we aren’t even prepared, are we? I don’t think either of us is ready to be a parent,” James said.

Lily had to admit to herself that she didn’t really know much about how the finer details of sex worked, especially not in terms of preventing pregnancy. Of course, she wasn’t even sure if she could get pregnant. She was, after all, the Goddess. Maybe she wouldn’t be capable of reproducing.

“You’re right. We should do our own research. Make sure we’re ready,” Lily said.

“Then we can take it slow,” James said, leaning over and kissing her throat again then saying, “Savour each experience.”

* * *

 

Lily knew that if there was anyone she could talk to about sex, it was Dorcas Meadowes, who she invited for a private walk on the beach so they could discuss this matter free of any prying ears.

“So I was wondering if you could help me out… Maybe give me some pointers about… sex?” Lily said.

“Please tell me you don’t want a demonstration,” Dorcas said then laughed.

“No, no. Just… neither James or I have done it before and we don’t want to screw it up,” Lily said.

“You do know to touch each other’s genitals, right?” Dorcas said.

Lily blushed and laughed, feeling slightly embarrassed at the use of that word.

“Yes! Of course! I just mean… I don’t want to get pregnant,” Lily said.

“Don’t you have a special tea for that or something?” Dorcas asked.

“If I did, how would I know it worked?” Lily asked.

“Good point. Well, you can buy some condoms in the village. Pomfrey has them if you know to ask. Makes them herself. Out of what, I have no idea. But they worked wonders with me and Peter,” Dorcas said.

“Pomfrey. OK,” Lily said.

“Also, you’re going to want some lubrication. Pomfrey suggested using cooking oil,” Dorcas said.

“Why would I need that? It… umm… down there… I don’t seem to have much of a problem,” Lily said, cringing.

“Trust me. I’ve tried it with and without lubrication and it really is better with it, especially if he turns out to be big,” Dorcas said.

“Big?” Lily asked.

“You know… down there,” Dorcas said, gesturing between her own legs.

“His penis?” Lily whispered.

“Yes!” Dorcas said then loudly laughed.

“Are some penises bigger than others?” Lily asked.

“Yeah. At least in my experience. One fella I was with was definitely larger than I expected,” Dorcas said and made some gestures with her hands to indicate the size.

Lily’s jaw dropped open and said, “You must be joking! Why would a penis need to be that big?”

“I don’t know. It’s just biology, I suppose. I mean we’re all different, aren’t we? Why do you need to be taller than me? It’s not that you need to be tall or I need to be short… it’s just how we are,” Dorcas said.

“Still… I can’t imagine… something that large fitting somewhere so… small,” Lily said with a grimace.

“Hence, lubrication. And make sure he doesn’t just ram it in… even if he’s _not_ that large. Take your time… get each other worked up… enjoy it all. It’s just… so nice when you take the time to let things build up and then you both finish together and just sort of… melt into the bed,” Dorcas said, looking nostalgic.

“That _does_ sound nice,” Lily admitted.

“Anything else? Want to know about positions?” Dorcas said.

“Maybe. I’m wondering who James went to for advice,” Lily said.

“Hopefully, someone who will teach him about oral sex right,” Dorcas said and Lily covered her mouth to muffle a squeal of embarrassment.

* * *

 

As it happened, summer came and she and James had still not done the deed. They had certainly done a lot more making out which was admittedly nice. She also found herself trying to dress in ways that might be sexually enticing, making sure to show James as much skin as possible. And James seemed to be spending a lot more time around the house in just his shorts and he definitely had not become any less physically attractive.

Lily had not only got some condoms from Pomfrey but she actually had a special blend of lubricant she had invented and some pamphlets containing a great deal of information. It was all fairly clinical but Lily appreciated having it.

Lily realised that sex wasn’t even any one particular thing. Many different acts could be considered sex and there were a wide array of experiences that people enjoyed. Some certainly had more appeal to Lily than others.

At summer’s peak, Lily invited James for a swim in the pond. It was a blisteringly hot day and being in the water was basically better than being anywhere else, even in the house.

“Oh, that’s nice,” James said, sinking into the water.

Lily couldn’t help but take a peek at his penis but she realised she couldn’t tell much about its size when it wasn’t aroused. She made sure to pull herself up a little, letting her pink nipples just barely breach the surface of the water, definitely catching James’s gaze.

“I can’t believe we don’t come down here more often,” James said after they had been quietly lounging for a short while.

“We’re always out of the house or fooling around in bed,” Lily replied.

“That’s funny. Why do we always make out in bed? We could do it anywhere,” James said and Lily slowly approached him.

“Like here?” Lily asked, pushing her wet, naked flesh against his side then leaning into a full mouthed kiss.

James moaned into her mouth as Lily’s hand drifted down his torso, caressing the fine form of his abdomen and stopping just short of his groin. She had no intention of actually initiating but she certainly wanted to get him worked up.

Lily pressed herself into his side, loving the feeling of his warmth within the cool water. James placed a hand on her side and let it drift down, tracing her curves.

Lily pulled her mouth away and nuzzled James’s neck then said, “I read that sometimes people just like to watch each other.”

“What do you mean?” James said, as Lily stroked his abdomen softly, feeling the lines of his muscles with her fingertips.

Lily pulled away and within the center of the pond she placed a hand on her chest.

“I mean… they like to watch,” Lily repeated as she slid her hand down her torso, until she reached the swollen flesh between her thighs, sliding a finger between the folds and letting out a small moan.

“Oh,” James said, and mirrored her by grabbing himself beneath the water.

Lily watched as his arm flexed and bobbed in the water as he licked his lips and kept his eyes focused on her, his chest rising and falling with deep, heavy breaths.

“No, I want to see. Will you climb out of the water?” Lily asked and moved to the northern edge of the pond and slid out onto the grass beneath the tree.

Luckily the grass was fairly soft and didn’t bother her bare bottom much. James climbed out just far enough onto the southwestern corner of the pond to have the sun illuminate his nude form. As he turned around she got her first real glimpse of his erect penis.

It was funny. She had always known James had a penis. She had even felt it when they made out, rubbing against her through their clothes. But finally seeing it was strange and surprising. She wasn’t sure what constituted big or small when it came to penises but it certainly looked bigger than she would’ve expected. It looked rather thick, indeed, and every bit as handsome as he was.

James noticed where her eyes had focused and laughed before slowly pulling to the pond’s edge, sitting with his legs in the water then wrapping a large hand around his cock. Lily turned over onto her side, lifting her right leg just enough to expose her flesh beneath the dark red curls of her pubic mound. She slid her hand back there, gently caressing her clitoris with two fingers in a circular motion.

“I’ve always worried about it… my size, I mean. I feel like I’m so tall. It doesn’t seem… proportional,” James said, his fingers gripping his shaft in an O-shape and slowly stroking it, his foreskin gliding with the motion smoothly.

“I’m afraid I don’t know much about them. I don’t think I care. You’re gorgeous all over, from head to toe,” Lily said who was beginning to remember why they had got in the water in the first place, as her body heated up and sweat began to drip down her forehead.

“You’re gorgeous too. Perfect,” James said.

Lily watched James’s face. She liked the little twitches it made as he pleasured himself. She liked the way he bit his lip and closed his eyes, only to reopen them and seem just as amazed to see her there as he ever had. The evidence of his pleasure only increased her own.

Lily let a finger explore her opening, finding it very hot and damp, then using some of her own wetness as lubrication on her own swollen nub. Lily was certainly no novice to touching herself and thinking about James Potter, but actually being able to watch him as she touched herself was a rather impressive experience.

“What are you thinking about?” Lily asked.

“You. I’m just watching you,” James said.

“What do you normally think about?” Lily said, realising she might not like the answer if it didn’t involve her, but suspecting that it did.

“You,” he said with a laugh.

“Doing what,” Lily urged.

“Lots of things. Things like this. And things… not like this,” James said.

“I’ll share if you’ll share. Don’t you want to know what I think about?” Lily said.

James chuckled and said, “Fair enough. I… I like to imagine you on top of me. You’re riding me slow and you feel so… _warm_.” 

“Oooo. That does sound nice. I like to imagine your mouth… mmm… your mouth slowly exploring my body… every part of me. Kissing, sucking, licking… all over… every inch and curve of my body… until you finally arrive between my legs…” Lily said then moaned, amazed by how aroused she was right now.

Across the pond, James had definitely begun to stroke himself faster and his chest was heaving. His dark torso glistened with sweat and he made soft grunts of pleasure.

“Your turn,” Lily said.

“Hmm… I sometimes like to just… imagine myself exploring between your thighs. I want to know what it feels like… how it tastes. I try to imagine what it would be like to just… slide a finger inside or… or to lick you there,” James said.

Lily moaned, wanting desperately to just tell James to come over there and give it a try, that he could explore between her thighs until the sun set if he wanted.

“I like to imagine how you would feel inside of me… I know how a finger or two feels… it’s nice enough. There’s an aching inside of me… like an itch that wants to be scratched. I want to be filled,” Lily said, sliding a finger inside herself and imagining that feeling magnified to something as thick as James.

She really was very wet and she was amused by the wet sounds that were made by fingering her sopping entrance. She moved her fingers back to her clitoris, and studied James’s face again. There was a building urgency and a sense of frustration on his face. He must be craving climax something terrible and so was she. But she was enjoying this.

“I like to imagine our bodies pressed together… me on top of you and slowly thrusting inside of you… feeling you… feeling your heat and your heartbeat,” James said.

“Mmmm,” Lily moaned, feeling herself getting closer and closer to climax.

James’s strokes had become rapid and jerky. His pelvic region was bouncing and he was gritting his teeth. Lily could feel tension building, centered around the area between her legs.

“I want to put my mouth on your cock. I wonder how hot it feels… how it tastes,” Lily said, finding it difficult to express the erotic thoughts in her head at this point.

James quickly pulled his hand away from his cock and shook his head.

“I almost came,” James said.

“Oh? Why did you stop?” Lily asked, knowing that she had no intention of delaying her own orgasm.

“I want to watch you first. I’ll enjoy it more if you come first,” James said.

Lily smiled and licked her lips. James wrapped a hand around his cock again and slowly stroked. Lily stroked her clitoris swiftly, feeling her legs begin to clench as she hurtled towards the desired moment.

“I’m imagining… how badly I wished you were going to come in me,” Lily said.

James started quickly stroking himself again and Lily made a high pitched sound that surprised herself, groaning in pleasure as the tension released ecstasy through her body.

“Ohhh,” Lily moaned as wave after wave of hot pleasure rippled through her.

She looked over at James who was furiously stroking himself until his body strained and she saw his cock begin to flex and shoot fluid onto his stomach, chest and hands.

“Goddess,” James moaned and Lily had to refrain from giggling.

Lily was surprised by how much James had ejaculated. It was much more than she assumed it would be. She loved the gasps and moans he made as he came. She loved that it was the sight of her own pleasure that brought him to his own.

Euphoria filled Lily and her body nearly melted into the ground. It took a great deal of effort to pull herself to her knees and crawl back over to James. She fell down beside him, getting leaves, grass and dirt all over the parts that she hadn’t yet managed to get covered with them.

Lily giggled and planted kisses on James’s cheek and neck, then nuzzled him.

“I’ve never come that hard before. That was amazing,” James said.

“You weren’t so bad yourself,” Lily said.

“Lily… perhaps I was just imagining things… but I could’ve swore at the moment of climax that… your skin glowed a little,” James said.

“I did?” Lily said.

“You closed your eyes for just a moment. It was beautiful,” James said.

“Not as beautiful as you,” Lily countered.

James laughed and looked away in embarrassment.

“Shall we get back in the pond to cool off and clean up?” Lily said.

“Try and stop me,” James said.

 


	6. The Exploration of the Bodies

A couple of weeks passed after James and Lily’s experiment at the pond and they both became rather busy in the village. James was building the start of a new boat, though there wasn’t enough wood.

Lily enjoyed the fact that they both wanted to find more time and energy to explore each other’s bodies and had begun to tease him while he worked.

“I was thinking, James, how nice it might be to hop in the water right now,” Lily said, gesturing out at the sea, as she stood beside him watching him hammer a nail into two planks.

“I’m right there with you, love. Still have lots of hammering to do first,” James said.

“I could pull my skirt up under the water and no one would even know. I could just press myself against you and let you have your way with me. If you were slow and careful no one would notice,” Lily said.

James stopped hammering then grinned and shook his head.

“Shit,” James said, glancing around.

The village was in view but no one was in the immediate vicinity. Of course, Lily had no intention of doing such a thing and knew he wouldn’t go through with it either, but it was fun to get him worked up and she smiled at the bulge in his trousers.

James made sure to pay her back. One day she was picking berries not far from the lighthouse and he had been by to visit Sirius. He walked up behind her and said, “Oh, Lily. Do you know how much I would like to stick my head beneath your skirt? I doubt Sirius would notice anything.”

Lily laughed but didn’t reply. James knelt beside her and grabbed a berry. He bit into it slowly, letting the juice pour all over his mouth. Lily couldn’t help but appreciate the way his lips wrapped around the berry.

Lily detected a hint of arousal in herself but chose to ignore it. Instead she said, “Neither of us have any work to do tomorrow. I was thinking we might want to spend the day in bed. Feel free to come to my room when you wake up. Don’t bother bringing any clothing.”

James stared at her then slowly stood up. Lily glanced at his groin, seeing exactly what she wanted. James would have to just face the fact that she was better at this.

James arrived at her bedroom the following morning, right on cue and every bit as naked as she had requested. Lily was surprised by how much smaller his flaccid penis was than his erect penis. It really did grow quite a lot. She wondered if that was typical.

James fell into bed next to her, dropping onto his stomach. Lily smiled at his bottom that was so wonderfully shaped.

“Your arse really is nice, James Potter,” Lily said.

“You’re not so bad yourself, Lily Evans,” James said.

Lily giggled then said, “So I was thinking today we would just… take turns exploring our bodies. Just with our hands and mouths. No penetration yet.”

“So what… you’ll just lay there and…” James said.

“You can touch me freely. Explore every inch of me. Then I’ll do the same to you. It’s another way of… getting to know each other,” Lily said with a wide smile.

“That sounds… nice,” James said.

“Let’s get to it then, shall we?” Lily said, gesturing up and down her naked body.

James looked her up and down.

“I don’t know how to choose where to start. Every part of you is perfection,” James said, making Lily blush.

James wisely started with her mouth, giving her a slow, sensual kiss. It was difficult for Lily to remain still and not want to reach over and put her hands on James but she resisted, knowing that before long she would be able to touch him all she wanted, free of interference.

James placed a hand on her cheek. She was surprised to feel how cold he was but knew he would soon be warming up. All things considered Lily really loved kissing James Potter. He was just so good at it. It never failed to take her breath away.

James dragged his lips from her mouth, across her cheek and to her pale throat. He pressed his lips into her flesh and breathed hot onto her neck, giving her chills. He pulled his mouth away and touched a finger to her neck and softly dragged it down to her chest.

Lily had always been uncomfortable with how boys always leered at her chest and commented on the size of her breasts. James Potter had never done that. He seemed to appreciate them as part of a beautiful whole and that was fine with her.

James let his finger trace the line of her breasts, dragging it around and under her left breast, then up and around her right breast before dragging it down between them. He then dragged his finger up the slope of her left breast until it found one of her pink nipples.

James lightly touched her nipple, which was very hard and sensitive. He traced the circle of her areola, his face looking almost fascinated. James cupped her left breast then slowly lowered his mouth to her nipple, wrapping his lips around it and slowly sucking.

Lily let out a soft moan and he moved to the other breast and did the same. She wanted to warn him how sensitive they were but instead he moved on, kissing his way down her breast to her belly.

Lily had put on some weight in the last couple of years, especially since she had moved in with James. She supposed that she had been a little underfed at times when she lived on her own. It was nice to feel more healthy and she liked the extra weight, seeing it as a sign of health and good fortune. She had worried at first that maybe James would find her less attractive but it was clear that wasn’t the case as he planted gentle, loving kisses all over the softness of her belly, making happy sounds.

Lily giggled from being tickled and James carried on. He traced a finger along the edge of her pubic mound down her inner thigh to her knee. He then kissed along that same path while Lily let out soft sounds of approval.

James lifted her right leg to kiss down her calf, making his way down to her ankle which he also kissed before finishing off with the top of her right foot. His finger traced around her foot, softly touching all of her toes. Lily laughed as his fingers dragged underneath the soft underside of the toes, tickling her again.

Lily loved the way James looked at every part of her, even her toes, with love and wonder. There was something about being so wholly admired that filled her with endless joy.

James began with her other side by kissing the bottom of her left foot, then kissing her ankle and back up her calf. He slowly moved up her inner thigh until he arrived back where he started at the top of her pubic mound.

“Roll over?” he asked.

Lily rolled over onto her stomach, resting her head on her arms and a pillow.

“There’s a lot more of you that needs my love,” James said, as he brushed her hair away from her neck.

James pressed his lips into the nape of her neck then dragged a finger down her back, from her neck, down her spine and stopping just above her bottom. Lily shivered and made a thrilled sound.

James dragged his fingers softly up and down her back, tickling Lily occasionally. He then placed a hand on her left side and slowly moved it down, feeling the shape of her body.

James moved his mouth to her neck again and began to kiss and suck his way down her spine, his hand squeezing her left hip. Once he had reached the small of her back he pressed his face into her and nuzzled her there. Lily giggled with joy and James moved his hand to her bottom.

He traced the line of her cheeks much like he had done her breasts then he cupped them and planted soft kisses on them. James then kissed down her right cheek to the back of her inner thigh. Lily could feel the dampness down there and longed for James to explore more closely.

Instead, he continued kissing down the backs of her thighs all the way down to her feet again. He then kissed back up as expected before finally saying, “OK. You can roll back over.”

“Ooo, hehe,” Lily giggled and rolled over, instantly spreading her legs.

James gazed at her vulva not with lust but with the same admiration as the rest of her body, though Lily wouldn’t’ve minded a little lust at that moment.

James moved his body between her legs, being amazingly careful not to let his erection touch her as he climbed over her left leg. James lowered himself to her groin. Lily could feel his hot breath as his face moved closer. He inhaled and pressed his face into the dark red curls of her pubic mound, nuzzling her.

Lily giggled and could feel all of her blood flowing south. James kissed her there then let his face slide down, his nose sliding between her slit and, perhaps accidentally, bumping against her clitoris, giving her a sudden shock of pleasure which made her yelp then burst into laughter.

James laughed as well and the vibrations caused by his voice felt nice down there. James pulled his face away and placed a hand on her, rubbing her outer lips softly with his fingers. He then used his other hands to spread them apart, revealing her swollen flesh to him.

James looked her over with curiosity. She supposed he had never really seen one this close before. He looked a bit like he had just received a gift that he didn’t understand how to use.

His fingers roamed around, grazing her clitoris and drifting down to her opening. She felt as James’s fingers brushed at her dampness, making him utter, “Wow.”

Lily laughed as he examined his now wet fingertips with wonder.

“I knew it got wet but… that’s amazing,” James said.

James lowered a finger back to her hole, pushing it slightly inside. Lily gasped then held her breath as James slowly pushed inside. His middle finger was certainly larger than any of her fingers and even as wet as she was it felt a little snug.

“Am I hurting you?” James asked.

“No. Don’t worry. I’ll tell you if it hurts and if I don’t like something I will tell you to stop,” Lily said.

She didn’t want to tell him what to do. The point was for him to explore, but she was looking forward to him discovering her clitoris. It did feel nice as James pulled his longer finger in and out and her mind still raced over the notion of his much thicker penis going there.

“I’ll admit… I don’t understand how I can get my… it’s just… so small,” James said.

“It evolved to pass babies, you know,” Lily said then laughed.

James laughed too and removed his finger. Lily missed the friction but was excited by James’s finger that was now sliding back up towards her clitoris.

“This is your clitoris?” James asked, pointing towards the hood of clitoris.

“You’re supposed to be exploring, James,” Lily said.

James’s slid his finger down the hood and Lily shook from another shock of pleasure as his finger grazed over her clitoris.

“Oh. There,” he said, figuring it out.

James rubbed at it with a fingertip and Lily recoiled as it was a bit sensitive.

“It’s sensitive,” Lily warned.

James slid two fingers on either side of her clitoral hood and lightly squeezed. Lily moaned and was having to greatly resist giving James instructions.

James lowered his mouth to her flesh and pressed his lips into the hood, sucking lightly and giving Lily another jolt of pleasure.

“Mmmm. That’s nice,” Lily said, appreciating a sensation she had never felt before.

As James sucked again, Lily lamented the fact that her mouth wasn’t able to reach down there. James’s lips kissed and sucked up and down the hood, drawing even more blood to the region.

James then stuck out his tongue and licked around it, making Lily feel very frustrated and aroused. James pulled his mouth away and looked up at Lily with a shy smile.

“I… did ask around. I wanted advice on how to do… this but… Well, Sirius is gay and has never even had sex. Peter has had sex but was too embarrassed to say much of anything. So I’m just saying… I’m not really sure what I’m doing,” James said.

“That’s OK. That’s what practice is for, right? Just keep testing the waters. Don’t worry about making me come this time,” Lily said, reaching down to stroke some of his messy black hair with her fingers.

James lowered his mouth back down, lapping at the dampness of her hole and probing the tip inside of her. Lily moaned, appreciating yet another different feeling.

James thankfully then dragged his tongue north, finally flicking it against her very swollen clitoris that was feeling more amenable to touch now. Lily released a much louder moan, hoping he would get the hint to do more of that.

Lily was grateful to discover he had received the hint and lapped at her clitoris once again. Lily’s body felt flushed and she placed her hands on her breasts, feeling incredibly sexy right now.

As James continued to lap at her, Lily made sure to moan and let him know how good it felt, in the hopes he wouldn’t stop or get distracted by something else. By the Goddess, he could definitely make her come if he kept that up.

James looked strangely beautiful as he continued to pleasure her with his tongue. She had imagined this moment so many times and was happy to discover that receiving oral sex felt even better than she expected.

As Lily felt herself edging closer to climax she wanted so badly to beg him not to stop and hope he could see how close he was bringing her. James ramped his speed up gradually and Lily’s hands were clutching the sheets in anticipation of the big moment.

“Oh. Oh, James. Ohhhh,” Lily moaned as she climaxed, her body convulsing as pleasure coursed through her.

“Fuck!” Lily squealed, unable to prevent herself from swearing at the moment.

James continued to lick as euphoria washed over her, slowly lowering her into a state of calm.

“Oh, James. That was fantastic. Come kiss me, please,” Lily said, through heavy breaths.

James moved beside her and quickly kissed her. Lily could taste her own tartness on his mouth which she didn’t mind as it was evidence of how much he had pleased her.

“OK. Your turn. On your back, Potter,” Lily said.

James looked excited. Lily was happy that she was helping to brighten his life so much as he was brightening hers more than words could actually describe.

Lily had a tough act to follow. James had done a good job and he had clearly put a lot of thought into it. She put a hand on his chest and felt his muscles. They weren’t very large but they were very well defined. He felt strong.

Lily’s fingers found his small, dark nipples and she wasted no time in wrapping her red lips around one of them and sucking.

“Ahhh,” James groaned in apparent pleasure.

So, James liked having his nipples sucked more than she did! Lily sucked the nipple again, even harder and felt James shake and groan beneath her. She then sucked the other nipple just as hard, thrilled that she had discovered one of his weaknesses, perhaps one that he himself didn’t realise he had.

“Wow. Lily, that’s… something else,” James said, his face looking shocked.

Lily gave him a wicked smile and moved her hand to his abdomen. It was just as finely shaped as his chest and he had a patch of curly, black fuzz around his navel that she took great enjoyment from ruffling her fingers through.

James laughed as she tickled him, and she appreciated giving a little payback. She then slid her hand down to James’s groin. She couldn’t help but stop and inspect his penis with her eyes. It was dark and very thick. His foreskin covered all of his shaft, except for the wide swollen head. The tip was very damp from his arousal.

It wasn’t as long as she had at first judged it from afar which was fine as she doubted she could get much more than what he had inside of her anyway. Lily traced her finger around the organ in question, watching as it twitched, not knowing if it was her or James that caused it.

Lily pressed her lips into James’s inner thigh, seeing no reason he should be any less tormented than she was, only her kisses left red marks here and there. She kissed down his thigh and to his calf. His legs were covered with a lot of dark hair that felt a little rough as she dragged her face down it.

James’s feet were surprisingly well groomed considering how often he worked on his feet. Lily planted small kisses on the tips of his toes before moving on to the other leg.

Lily continued on up his leg and back to his thigh, requesting he turn over just as he had her. Once he was on his stomach Lily marveled at his shapely bottom. A perfect mixture of roundness and firmness lay before her and she wanted to put her hands all over it. It was truly magnificent.

Instead, Lily slid next to James and began to kiss down his spine. James’s skin was salty from sweat, having had lots of time for his body to build up heat by now. Beneath her, Lily could almost feel James shifting, possibly trying to give his penis some friction.

Lily arrived at his bottom and she grinned so much she was sort of glad James couldn’t see. Lily lightly stroked each of James’s cheeks absolutely in awe of their shape and firmness.

“Oh, James Potter. You and your beautiful bottom are going to be the end of me,” Lily said, leaning over to give both cheeks a kiss.

Lily had become aware, thanks to Dorcas Meadowes, that some people liked a little anal penetration, thanks to something called the prostate that she read about in a book. Lily wondered if James would like that but decided to save that thought for a later date.

“OK, James. Roll over and let’s see about that swelling you have,” Lily said, laughing at her own ridiculous attempt at humour.

James rolled over and had an almost giddy look on his face. Lily got between his legs and scooted up to the organ in question. This was it, she thought, as she placed the tip of her finger at the base of his cock and slowly dragged it up to the head. James looked urgent and desperate, a feeling she understood well.

Lily wrapped a hand around his cock, or as best as she could at least. Unlike James she wasn’t able to make a perfect O with her fingers around it, as it was too thick to let her fingers touch unless she squeezed hard. Lily gently moved her hands up and down, feeling his soft foreskin gliding with the movement.

Lily licked her lips and lowered her mouth to the head. She pushed down its width then slowly sucked up, tasting the salty fluid that covered it from his arousal. James made a choked sound and his cock twitched again.

Lily again sucked on the head and James groaned, letting out a call of, “Oh, Goddess, Lily,” wholly unaware of the accidental accuracy of his words.

Lily, unlike James, had managed to get some advice for performing oral sex on a penis. Dorcas had demonstrated it to her on various fruits, which was ridiculous, embarrassing and somehow informative. But nothing Dorcas had was as thick as James’s penis. She definitely wouldn’t be able to get much more than the head into her mouth, at least not without a great deal of practice.

Lily pushed her mouth down, past the head, then sucked up, feeling James jerk and let out a moan. To her surprise, a small spurt of fluid popped out of the tip and she quickly licked it up. It was an odd taste that she wouldn’t really describe as good but she didn’t mind it either. His bollocks looked full and felt heavy and warm as she cupped them. She could feel them tightening to his body the more she sucked.

“Lily, I don’t think I’ll be able to hold on very long. I almost felt like I was going to come when I was going down on you,” James said.

Lily wrapped a hand around his cock and slowly stroked it. It was sort of fun to watch his face strain as her hand reached the head. She put her mouth back on the head and began to suck and stroke him in unison. It was a little difficult to do both at the same time but Dorcas had insisted that James would love it.

Even just the head of his cock stretched her mouth open a lot and she realised that at the very least her vagina should be able to handle it better than her mouth. She could hardly breathe and had to keep stopping to catch her breath, a fact that seemed to frustrate poor James who looked shocked every time she stopped.

Finally, she decided she had had enough of tormenting James and sucked his head hard and fast.

“Almost. Oh, Goddess,” James moaned, his breathing hard and sounding desperate.

Lily sucked as hard as she could, almost embarrassed by the sounds she was making.

“Ohhh,” James breathed quietly before groaning deeply and moaning, “Lily!” as his cock pulsed, letting hot, salty fluid pour onto her tongue.

Lily made a happy sound of approval as James continued to shudder and strain with orgasm, pleased with herself and him. Lily continued to suck as his cock grew flaccid. She was surprised with how quickly he lost his arousal. It wasn’t like that for her exactly. She could keep going if she wanted, most of the time, though it was always a little more sensitive after she came.

Once James seemed to be trying to pull away she let his cock go then moved up his body to give him a kiss once more. They were both hot, tired and sweaty but there was something incredibly passionate about that kiss. With their physical desire satiated they were only doing it for love.

James and Lily spent the rest of the day in bed just as Lily had wanted. After sex they took to reading to each other and even had dinner and tea in bed. Lily felt happier than she had ever felt and not because of the sex, not exactly. It was the intimacy they were sharing.

That night as James fell asleep next to her, she thought of how things were changing. It was that word, intimacy, that kept echoing in her mind and the way her life and James’s life were merging to become one and the same.

She considered the notion of days like these ever going away and felt a stab of pain in her heart. No… she couldn’t bear to even consider her life without James. The notion of letting this beautiful, kind, strong, giving and caring man fall out of her life was unthinkable. James had been more attentive to her wants, needs and desires than anyone ever had.

So the next line of thinking was obvious: Could she marry James Potter? Should she marry James Potter? Would James Potter even be interested in marrying her?

Lily imagined herself in the future. She imagined a life they could build together. James had already mentioned something that afternoon about going ahead and moving her stuff into his room or even just breaking down the walls and having one large, shared room.

Lily always thought she’d be the sort to always want her own space but the idea of sharing a room with James, day in and day out, made her happier than she ever expected.

But she worried that she would not be a good partner for James. There was still a great deal that she didn’t understand about herself. And what if she couldn’t have children? She couldn’t be certain. James had mentioned in the past his intentions for any future children, how he would raise them and the values he would bestow on them.

Lily’s hand drifted to her still naked abdomen and rubbed there. She had always wanted to have at least one child someday. Of course, it was expected, wasn’t it? Her mother and father always assumed that getting married and producing children was just a thing that she would do because that was how life worked.

In a way, that made Lily not want to do it. She didn’t want to do things because she had to but because she wanted to. But now that she was in love with James Potter, she hoped that she could produce a child. And she hoped even more that he would still love her if she wasn’t able to. She could live with it if she couldn’t. She could adopt some day and love that child as much as any child deserved.

Lily rolled over and kissed James on his forehead then pushed her body next to him, placing her head on his pillow. If she could spend the rest of her life just like this, why wouldn’t she?

 


	7. The Wedding

On the day of the autumnal equinox Lily decided to ask James Potter to marry her. He had recently become busy again. On top of the project to break down the walls that separated their two rooms, James had finally obtained the wood to finish his new boat. Thankfully, this one was unlikely to be smashed to bits by an arrogant, self-important author with celestial delusions of grandeur.

Lily had nearly performed the task three times before now, over the last few weeks since their day of intimacy and passion that led to her personal revelation. 

The first time was the morning after. James had been naked and standing on her balcony. She went to him and was ready to just burst out with it, but instead his face seemed distant and thoughtful. Notions of pending responsibilities had obviously flooded his mind and the timing was all wrong.

The second time was three days later. She was nervous and trying to drop hints. She told him how much he meant to her and how grateful she was to have him in her life but she choked when it came time to tell him that she also couldn’t imagine her life without him.

The third time she had decided to invite him for a moonlight walk on the beach. The beach had some meaning in their relationship and history, after all. They had met on the beach, nearly kissed on the beach and then finally kissed on the beach after Lily’s great ordeal had ended. But once they were on the beach… something just felt all wrong. It felt like she was trying to force a miracle so she avoided the subject entirely.

When she finally managed to utter the words it was at a moment she did not expect. James was standing on the deck of his new boat and spinning around in joy.

“I’ve done it again. I really think this one will last,” James said.

“The best things always do,” Lily said and climbed up the plank.

“You’re the best thing,” James countered.

“Impossible! _You_ are the best thing,” Lily said.

“Then maybe we both are,” James said, giving her a kiss.

Lily pulled away and said, “Do you want us to last forever?”

James stared at her, looking as if he was wondering if she was really saying what he thought she was saying.

“Do you want to marry me?” Lily continued.

“More than anything,” James said and kissed her again.

Tears filled Lily’s eyes as relief and happiness washed over her.

“Oh, James,” Lily said, pressing her wet cheek to his.

“I had no idea this is what you wanted,” James said.

“You have no idea how much I want this,” Lily said.

* * *

 

Later that night, they arrived back at their home. They hadn’t had much time to discuss marriage plans as James had to immediately schedule trade trips. So as they fell into bed Lily decided they needed to deal with some immediate issues.

“I think we should get married just over a month from now. On All Hallow’s Eve,” Lily said.

“Why that day? Not that I’m opposed,” James said.

“It was always my favourite when I was a kid. There used to be a small celebration on the island. Maybe our marriage could bring it back,” Lily said.

“Fair enough,” James said.

“There’s something else I need to ask… before we get married,” Lily said.

“Anything you want I will give you if it is in my power,” James said with a grin.

“No, it’s not anything like that… it’s more of a question… Something I need to know,” Lily said.

“Give it your best shot, then,” James said.

Lily took a deep breath and said, “Do you want children?”

James looked at her carefully. He looked genuinely afraid to reply.

“Please. Answer me and be honest,” Lily said.

“Yes. I would like children. At least one,” James said.

“I don’t know if I can have children. I want to. I want to so badly. But given… my nature, I don’t know if it is possible,” Lily said.

“Why do you doubt this? You are still human, Lily Evans. You do all the things other humans do. Whatever you came from gave you everything you needed to live life among other humans,” James said.

“That’s all true but… Without ever trying I have no way of knowing and I certainly don’t have any points of comparison,” Lily replied.

“Either way, please know that I will love you no matter what. And we could always pursue adoption. There are orphanages on other islands that have more children than they can possibly find homes for,” James said.

Lily nodded and kissed James, then scooted herself next to him. For the moment, things were going as well as they possibly could.

A great joy came when they gathered all their friends around to make the announcement. Mary and Dorcas were happy, though Dorcas jokingly expressed her annoyance that James and Lily had beaten them to the whole marriage thing. Peter practically sobbed with joy. Sirius tried to act cool but Lily definitely spotted him wiping away tears when no one was looking.

After the party was over, Lily took Sirius aside, wanting to speak to him privately.

“James is your best friend. I just wanted you to know that I promise to always treat him well and give him the love he deserves,” Lily said.

“You don’t need to tell me anything, Lily Evans. You are a wonderful person. I have no doubt James is in good hands,” Sirius said, smiling proudly.

“Thank you, Sirius. Has he asked you to be his best man?” Lily asked.

“Of course,” Sirius replied.

“I’ve asked Dorcas to be my matron of honour, so you’ll be in good company,” Lily said.

Sirius placed a hand on Lily’s shoulder then pulled her in for a hug.

“You’re a good man, Sirius Black,” Lily said.

* * *

 

A few days later another subject came up while the two of them were fooling around in bed: the honeymoon. They had been having difficulty making time and energy for sex since their glorious day in bed, which is to say it hadn’t been happening at all.

After a day of theoretically dealing with wedding plans, during which they had clearly been giving each other significant looks and subtle touches, they rushed back to the house and practically tore each other’s clothes off.

“Oh, James, I want you so bad,” Lily said, groping at his groin while he sucked on her neck.

“I want you too. I want to… feel you,” James said, his hand sliding between her legs, cupping her there.

“Mmmm,” Lily moaned, the empty ache between her thighs feeling urgent.

“So wet,” James grunted.

“Lubricant and condoms are in the cabinet,” Lily said and hopped up to run over and get them out.

“Wait. Are we sure? We could wait until the honeymoon,” James said.

Lily had suggested they spend their honeymoon on the boat. James promised to take her somewhere interesting, unless the weather was bad, in which case they would just circle the island for a few days.

“I’m definitely ready right now, but we don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Lily said.

“I want to,” James said.

“Great,” Lily said and smiled.

Lily walked over and pulled the condom from its pouch and handed it to James.

“What is this made out of?” James said.

“I’m not sure. Some sort of plant I think,” Lily said.

It was certainly a dark shade of green and felt slippery. James pulled it on over his cock and it fit surprisingly well. Pomfrey couldn’t completely guarantee she wouldn’t get pregnant but promised it was very effective.

She came over to the bed and put some of the lubricant on James’s hand which he used to quickly slick up his condom covered cock. Lily dripped some of it between her legs, letting it fall over her clitoris and into her already very wet hole. She then began to touch herself, amazed at how slippery the lubricant made things.

“Come on, James. I’m ready,” Lily insisted.

Lily’s intense arousal made her want to say all manner of filthy things but she didn’t think they would sound right coming from her mouth. Perhaps in the future she would feel more comfortable, she thought.

James climbed between her legs and positioned himself at her entrance. Lily was highly aroused and very nervous. It was exciting like some sort of new adventure.

James pushed the tip of the head inside and Lily gasped as she felt herself being stretched.

“Ohh,” Lily said, as much in surprise as in pleasure.

“Is it OK? It doesn’t hurt, does it?” James asked.

“It’s fine. Just… different. Go slow,” Lily said.

James pulled back out and pushed in again, going just a little deeper. Lily moaned, amazed at how good it felt to be stretched open by James. James steadily repeated the process, aided by Lily stimulating her clitoris.

It didn’t take as long as she expected for James to get himself in completely and begin the process of slowly gliding in and out of her. Her favourite part was when he had pulled nearly all the way out then slid back in deep, refilling the ache inside of her. Lily was glad that she had been practicing fingering herself recently, having been worried that James might never get it in.

James lowered his torso onto Lily’s and continued to slowly thrust in and out of her with passion and care. The feeling of having her beloved partner inside of her, filling her up was incredible. She desperately thanked the lubricant and condom for making things easier. The friction was incredible, though it was still a little bit more of a tighter fit than was ideal.

James for his part was being gentle and taking it easy. Lily clutched her hands to his back and whispered in his ear, “It’s OK if you want to go faster.”

Apparently, James did as he started to thrust faster all the while making grunts of pleasure and repeating her name.

“James, you feel so good. So good. You’re so beautiful,” Lily said, kissing his shoulder while he made deep, rhythmic thrusts.

Lily wished James could really feel her but she wasn’t sure getting pregnant before the wedding was such a great idea. She realised the notion of James actually coming in her was very exciting but she supposed she could settle for this for now. It was pretty incredible in its own right.

James was thrusting pretty hard when Lily had a suggestion, “Will you take me from behind? I’ve read that it feels good.”

James pulled out and Lily flipped over and got on her knees, sticking her bottom in the air and reaching between her legs to touch herself while James pushed himself back inside.

This position did indeed feel good. It felt like James could actually go a little deeper each time he thrust and being able to easily get at her clitoris was also an advantage. The only downside was not being able to see James’s face. She liked that part.

James grabbed her cheeks gently and thrust hard and deep. Lily let out a steady stream of moans almost in rhythm with his thrusts.

“You can go harder, James,” Lily urged and James fulfilled the request, thrusting hard enough to cause his bollocks to smack into her underneath.

“Goddess, Lily. I want to come so bad. It feels so good,” James said.

“Don’t come yet. I want to watch you when you come,” Lily said, and pulled forward, letting him fall out of her as she flipped back over.

Lily lifted her legs up, opening herself wide while James repositioned himself, holding her legs and pushing inside her. Lily stroked her clit with fury while James pounded inside of her.

Lily watched his face. She was beginning to love the way his face looked before he climaxed. James looked down at her, his face both urgent and loving.

“I love you, Lily. I love you so much,” James said.

“I love you too,” Lily said, trying her best to smile through the rising tension.

Finally, James’s thrusts and her own fingering were too much and her climax came as she moaned and looked into James’s beautiful hazel eyes.

James’s lips quivered and he pounded harder than ever as he groaned, “Fuckkk,” his climax obviously came upon him as well.

James pushed himself deep, holding there as he made ragged sounds. James collapsed and Lily held him tightly, kissing his neck. They both lay still, almost melting into each other. James’s cock fell out of her and she suddenly realised how sore she felt, much more than she had thought.

“That was really something,” James said, giving her a kiss.

“Mmmm, yes,” Lily said, embracing his sweaty, naked body with whatever strength she had left.

* * *

 

October was filled with preparation for the wedding. The most immediate problem was where to even hold it. At first James had wanted to have it at the pond but as the guest list grew it slowly became unfeasible and it was a lot of people to expect to march up the cliffside. 

Lily had suggested just holding it in the village square but James didn’t think that would be intimate enough and it might force too many to be involved who didn’t want to be.

It was James who finally came home one evening and said, “I’ve got it!”

“And what might that be?” Lily asked.

“The Weasleys! Molly and Arthur and their kids!” James said.

“What about them? And how many kids do they have now anyway?” Lily asked.

“Five and she’s pregnant again, if you can believe it. They keep busy. Anyhow, they’ve agreed to let us hold the wedding at their home,” James said.

Lily had always casually known Molly and Arthur ever since she was a child. They were older than her, nearly thirty she believed. They actually had the largest home on the island, though it was far less nice than James’s home, seeming to barely be holding together most of the time.

James had spent a great deal of time at their corner of the island making repairs and lamenting to Lily that if a big storm were to come it might not hold. There just wasn’t enough to wood to spare and Molly and Arthur couldn’t afford much.

But they did have a lovely beach view and the walk to their place wasn’t as far as the lighthouse or James and Lily’s home.

“That sounds wonderful,” Lily said and hugged James’s neck.

The following afternoon Lily ventured to the Weasley family home to offer her thanks to Molly and Arthur in person. Three boys played in the yard, all three of them with flaming red hair. Lily had difficulty remembering the boys’ names but she always remembered the middle boy, Charlie. He was the one playing with the wooden dragon toy.

Molly Weasley stepped out of the house, a pair of identical toddlers following after her. Molly was a short woman with a warm smile and hair just as red as her children. 

“Molly! I wanted to thank you for offering us the space for the wedding,” Lily said, running over to hug her.

“You’re very welcome, Lily. James has done so much for us, you know,” Molly said, squeezing Lily tight.

Lily looked over at the five children who were walking and crawling about. She couldn’t imagine ever having that many children. She had even considered that just one might be enough.

“Bill, stay out of that!” Molly said, calling after the oldest boy who had been peeking into a locked crate.

That meant the quiet boy who was younger than Bill and Charlie but older than the twins was Percy.

“I didn’t know you had twins. Congratulations,” Lily said.

“Yes, they are Fred and George. Did James tell you I’m expecting again?” Molly said.

“Yes. That’s wonderful,” Lily said.

“I’m really hoping for a girl this time, between you and me,” Molly said, nudging Lily with an elbow.

The twins began to dash off towards the beach, forcing Molly to run after them.

“Fred! George! Come back here this instant!” Molly shouted.

In the meantime, Charlie had joined Bill in his attempt to pry open that crate. Lily laughed. No, she definitely didn’t think she could ever handle this many children.

Molly came back up to the house, carrying the twins in her arms and panting.

“I promise they’ll be better behaved for the wedding,” Molly said.

Lily smiled at her and said, “I’m sure it will be fine.”

* * *

 

Lily had always thought she would be nervous on the day of her marriage but she wasn’t. She was at peace. She had read stories of one party or the other getting cold feet and leaving at the last minute but she had no doubts about herself or James Potter.

She opted for a brand new blue dress to get married in. She manipulated the dyes into a deep, rich colour. She had been avoiding overt displays of her abilities ever since the incident with Grindelwald but she thought for her wedding she could be a little indulgent.

Lily had insisted on keeping the wedding simple. Decorations were kept to a minimum and guests weren’t expected to bring gifts. Finding enough seating for everyone was, however, a challenge that required some effort, but James, Sirius and Peter did manage it.

One matter that Lily had been struggling to figure out was just who in the world was going to perform the blessed ceremony. All of the priests and clerics Lily had known as a child had all since passed on. James surprised her one evening by revealing that he had figured it out and that it would be a surprise. He had apparently called in an old favour from someone off-island.

Still, once the morning of the wedding came and there was no one to perform the ceremony, Lily tried her best to resist panic and dwell in peace. If nothing else, Sirius claimed that he had read up on the ceremony and that he didn’t think it sounded hard or anything. It wasn’t important who did it, just that it got done.

Lily got ready in Molly and Arthur’s room upstairs, her heart fluttering and feeling a song in her heart. Molly, Mary and Dorcas obsessed over her hair, insisting on pulling it up in a bun and wrapping white lace around her head. Lily didn’t like the lace and removed it but conceded the bun. She’d always been partial to letting her hair fall straight to her shoulders but she supposed it was a special day.

“Oh, it’s been so long since I’ve attended a proper wedding. We don’t have many here anymore,” Molly said, wiping her eyes.

“I remember your marriage, Molly,” Dorcas said.

“Poor Arthur was a bundle of nerves,” Molly said.

Lily could picture that. Arthur was a kind but slightly odd man who was very tall. He had an unusual fixation with magical creatures, like mermaids and nymphs. Lily felt bad that so many made fun of his obsession behind his back, especially since she knew for a fact there were magical things in this world.

As if on cue, Arthur Weasley popped his head in and said, “The priest or… whoever he is, has arrived. You should see his beard!”

Lily’s heart leapt and she rushed downstairs, amazed that she didn’t trip and fall down any of the old wooden stairs. As she opened the front door she saw a face that she never expected to see again.

“Dumbledore?” Lily asked, at the man with the twinkling eyes.

“On my better days,” he said and stepped inside.

“Do you two know each other?” Arthur said from behind them.

Lily tried to reply but of course found that she could not. Luckily, Dumbledore had the matter covered.

“We’ve had some correspondence. I am Albus Dumbledore, governor of the island of Hogwarts,” Dumbledore said.

“Dumbledore? Wasn’t that the lighthouse keeper’s name?” Molly asked.

“Yes. My dear brother, Aberforth. I am sorry I could not make it to his funeral but I had urgent matters to attend to,” he replied, looking grim.

“How are you here?” Lily asked.

“Mr. Potter wrote me a letter. Several years ago he and his friends helped me with a rather unfortunate problem. I told him that if he ever needed anything I would be of service. Here I am,” Dumbledore said, with an open gesture of his hands.

* * *

 

An hour later the ceremony commenced in front of the Weasley home. For a brief moment, the clouds dissipated overhead and Lily couldn’t help but wonder if that was her own doing.

Dorcas led Lily to the front, followed by Sirius leading James to the front, arm in arm. Lily and James stood facing each other as Mary and Peter took their places on their respective sides next to Sirius and Dorcas.

Dumbledore stepped out of the front door and stood between them. All was silent for a moment, aside from the wind, waves and wooden creaking of the Weasley home.

“Dear people, I present before you two individuals who seek to form a lasting union, merging their lives together, both in private and in public,” Dumbledore started.

Lily wondered if he did this often as governor. He certainly seemed very official.

“James Potter and Lily Evans have gathered you all here to witness their love and their bond so that all may know it is true,” Dumbledore said.

Dumbledore pulled a roll of what appeared to be white silk out of a pocket of his robe and held it between them.

“If you would hold hands now please, placing your palms together,” Dumbledore said.

Lily stuck her hands out and placed the palms flat on top of James’s. James had tears in his eyes and his eyes were so filled with love it made her want to fall into his arms.

Dumbledore wrapped the silk around their hands slowly, creating a perfect pattern around them.

“Do you, James Potter, accept this bond with Lily Evans?” Dumbledore asked, placing his hands on their bound hands.

“I do,” James replied.

“And do you, Lily Evans, accept this bond with James Potter?” Dumbledore asked.

“More than anything,” Lily replied, eliciting a few chuckles from the back of the audience.

With a swift motion Dumbledore pulled on the silk, unwrapping it instantly.

“If there are no objections, I pronounce this bond to be true and known, in the eyes of both the Goddess and of people,” Dumbledore said.

After a moment of silence Dumbledore then said, “You may now kiss.”

Lily rushed to James and pressed her lips into his, laughing with joy as tears fell down her face. The audience cheered and she was certain she could hear Sirius Black sniffling behind James.

“I love you,” James said.

“I love you too,” Lily said and kissed him again.

* * *

 

That night the island saw the biggest party it had perhaps ever seen, at least in Lily’s lifetime. There was wine, singing and dancing for all. Dumbledore hung around for a little while but as Lily spied him saying his goodbyes she decided to follow him back to his boat.

“Wait. Dumbledore! Don’t go! I need to talk to you,” Lily said.

Dumbledore stopped and turned around, smiling.

“Yes, Miss Evans… I mean Mrs. Potter, of course. I would be happy to speak to you,” Dumbledore said.

“I just wanted to thank you in person. Not just for today… but for everything. For always looking after me and sending your brother here to watch over me,” Lily said.

“I always try to do what I think is right and serves the greater good,” Dumbledore said.

Lily sighed, regretting what she wanted to ask him, but needing to know.

“Is it true what your brother told me? Is it true that you were involved with Grindelwald?” Lily asked.

Dumbledore sighed and nodded.

“I was young and foolish. I thought he was so beautiful and listened to his every word as if it were the undeniable truth. But he had a darker side. Some terrible things happened, many of which I blame myself for. And then he discovered the Book of Dreams. If I had known what he had intended back then…” Dumbledore said and turned and looked out at the coast.

“Is he really gone now?” Lily said, still doubting it all the time.

“Yes. He will not harm anyone ever again. But… I must warn you, Mrs. Potter. There are darker things in this world yet. The Book of Dreams is locked away but there may yet be those out there who would seek it.” 

Lily knew in her heart that she would always have to wonder who might try to harm or control her but hearing the confirmation still made her nervous.

“Then what do I do?” Lily asked.

Dumbledore turned to her and smiled.

“Live your life to the fullest. Never give into fear or compromise your own happiness. You are strong. Stronger than anyone I have ever met, and that’s saying a lot as old and well traveled as I am,” Dumbledore said.

Lily smiled then hugged him, which seemed to startle him briefly before he embraced her back. They walked the rest of the way to his boat and said farewell. Dumbledore wished her a happy honeymoon, then he was gone.

 


	8. The Honeymoon

As it happened, the weather the following morning as James and Lily set out for their honeymoon was just fine. It was raining a little but James didn’t seem to think it was anything to worry about.

James had decided to keep their destination a secret, only saying that it would take a few days to reach it. Until that time they had little else to do but enjoy each other’s company. Lily had worried that being out on the water would make her seasick but that wasn’t an issue, in fact she found the rocking of the boat rather calming.

While James steered the boat, Lily read to him and practiced something she called colour dancing. Lily twirled around the deck making colours appear at her fingertips and on her feet. Out on the water there really wasn’t much risk of being spotted so it was freeing to be able to practice her abilities like that.

At night they retired to the cabin and Lily had only one thing on her mind when she fell into bed with James: kissing him sweetly.

“I want to try to get pregnant,” Lily said.

“Already? Are you sure?” James asked.

“Why not? I’m young and very healthy. I would like to still be relatively young when my child has grown up,” Lily said.

“All right. Who am I to argue with a beautiful woman?” James said, giving Lily a kiss and squeezing her back.

Moments later they were naked and James’s face was wedged between Lily’s thighs, warming her up with his mouth, something he was only getting better at, bringing her to climax rather intensely.

After that they switched places and Lily got on top of James. She used lubricant to slick up his cock then slowly eased herself down on it.

“Oh, Lily,” James moaned as she slid down his thickness, both of them feeling each other flesh to flesh for the first time.

“It’s hot,” Lily said as she rocked her pelvis, letting him slide in and out.

“Wow. Oh,” James moaned, the look on his face saying more than his words could manage.

Lily liked the feeling of being in control and being able to control exactly how deep she took him. Her hands were pressed into his chest and every time the boat rocked it made her breasts bounce, which made both of them laugh. Lily slowly rode him, grinding her pelvis close to his body. She bit her lip and moved her hands up his torso, feeling his shape and pulling on his nipples.

“Goddess,” James moaned and threw his head back.

Lily loved how sexy and confident she felt, how she felt like she had complete control over his pleasure. As she slowly increased the speed of her pelvic rocking, James’s face looked increasingly intense. 

She was starting to learn to figure out the exact moment he would come just by watching his face. She could also feel it. At first it was hard to separate from her own pleasure but she had begun to learn to sense his pleasure separate from her own, though it did still have the effect of making her feel like she was going to come, not that she could complain.

Such was the case when she found herself almost recklessly bouncing off his cock, feeling his pleasure quickly hurtling towards a cliff.

“Fuck! Oh, Goddess,” James grunted, barely audible over the sounds of their skin smacking together.

“Oh, Lily. Unnnnhh,” James moaned, throwing his head back again as she felt his cock pulse inside of her.

Lily felt herself filled with a shared ecstasy as she pushed down and squeezed his cock with her muscles, loving the knowledge that she was being filled with his hot seed. 

“Ohhhh,” Lily moaned deeply, pleasurable fire burning through her.

James looked up at her and gave her a shocked look.

Lily looked down at herself and realised she was glowing intensely with green which flashed then disappeared, leaving Lily to collapse onto James in confusion and exhaustion.

“What was that?” James asked.

“I don’t know,” Lily replied with honesty.

That night Lily had a strange dream. She and James had a family. A large family, in fact. Only one child themselves, a son, but he had children and had married into a large family and his children had many cousins.

Sirius had also married a handsome, mysterious man who had a wolf’s name, though his nature lay in the sea. She tried to see the man’s face but it was obscured. Mary and Dorcas had also married and had adopted two children. She could almost see the future of their families stretching forward for a hundred years but things became intense and she was pulled back to the waking world.

She woke up with a shout that also startled James.

“What is it?” James asked, looking around.

“Nothing. Just a bad dream,” James said.

“I thought you stopped having those,” James said.

“So did I,” Lily said.

* * *

 

Somehow Lily knew that their first attempt at conception had been a good one but that didn’t stop them from trying again the following two nights. 

In fact, on the third night Lily had pulled up her skirt while leaning over the railing of the top deck, facing out over the cabin and urging James to take her from behind quickly, for which he happily obliged her.

“There’s no need to be so gentle. Something’s different right now. Can’t you feel it?” Lily said, James cupping her breasts through her dress and grunting as he thrust.

“Yes. Goddess, it feels so good,” James said as Lily leaned over further, clutching the railing as James slammed into her.

“Don’t hold back,” Lily begged and James responded swiftly, truly making use of his body’s strength and leanness.

James finally came, shouting a deep growl that startled her. Almost immediately he slumped over.

“Shit,” James said, breathing hard.

Lily giggled, still feeling very much aroused. Only an hour later, she had him on the bed, first his face between her legs, bringing her to climax twice before she rode him again. They fell asleep then woke up two hours later so that he could bend her over the bed, pounding into her as he desperately cried out her name.

By the time they reached their destination, they had already made love six times. Almost seven, if Lily counted the time on the second night she woke up in the middle of the night to touch herself.

Their destination, as Lily discovered, was the water city of Fidelius. Rather than being an actual island, it was an entire city of stone constructed on the water, with canals making up much of the city’s transport. James had rented a room in one of the large towers to stay in for the next week.

For a girl who had grown up on an island, Lily had never truly imagined ever seeing anything like this city. It was like something out of a story. The people who walked about the city had such a sophisticated state of dress and a sense of great importance. There were art galleries and libraries and bookstores everywhere.

Boats, that James said were called gondolas, took them around everywhere. Even the weather was nicer than one would expect for autumn. 

On the first night in Fidelius, Lily and James dined with a couple of his acquaintances by the name of Lovegood.

“There are all manner of mysterious creatures lurking on this world, you know,” Xenophilius Lovegood mentioned to them all.

Xenophilius was a man with long, straggly pale blond hair. His wife, Pandora, had very long dirty blonde hair and dreamy grey eyes. She was pretty in an odd sort of way. Lily realised that Xeno would probably get along well with Arthur Weasley.

“Is there?” Lily asked, trying to stay neutral.

“Oh yes. Why, have you heard of the screaming merman?” Xenophilius said.

“Can’t say we have,” James said.

“They say there’s a boat that travels around and can be seen on stormy nights by itself and there’s a screaming voice that’s neither human or monster but something else entirely,” Xenophilius said.

“And you think it’s a… merman?” James asked.

“Tales of merpeople go back, centuries actually,” Pandora said, her voice somehow soothing and distant.

“There have always been rumours about merpeople,” Xenophilius said and began to ramble about the long history of merpeople and explaining how mermen and mermaids weren’t gendered opposites but two entirely different species, and how some merpeople were evil and others could control their powers.

In truth, Lily found it hard to focus and she was certain that even if there were any merpeople that most of what he had to say was not accurate. James looked even more disinterested and eventually changed the subject.

* * *

 

The following morning, Lily woke from their bed to find James sitting naked at the window, overlooking the city. The view from their room was truly breathtaking. Lily came over and sat down on James’s lap and planted kisses all over his face while he giggled.

“What do you want to do today, my wife?” James asked.

“Hmm. Pandora mentioned a particularly exciting bookstore,” Lily replied, her hand sliding between his legs, finding him already rock hard.

“Goddess, you are insatiable,” James said, giving her a kiss.

“I just can’t stop wanting you,” Lily said then stood up, tossed off her night clothes and quickly grabbed the lubricant.

Moments later, Lily was seated on James, her back to his chest and watching the city out the window while she slowly thrust down on James who wrapped an arm around her large breasts and planted soft kisses on her back. Lily fingered her clitoris while James clutched her arse, both coming fast before washing up and heading out into the city. 

They spent almost all day in the bookstore. A lady who worked in the store was very charming and seemed sort of interesting. Lily had desperately meant to catch her name but found a great distraction in the many walls of books. James got lost three times and Lily had a satchel of books she decided definitely needed to join her collection, including several by the author of ‘Anna Feather’.

She read one of them aloud to James that night and ended up reenacting a rather scandalous scene where the protagonist sat on her lover’s face.

“Ohhh, James,” Lily moaned, biting her lip as he clutched her thighs, pulling her down into his wet and hungry mouth.

James lapped, sucked and kissed her into a powerful orgasm, leaving her feeling intensely thankful.

Later in the same book a scene occurred which really caught Lily’s eye. In this particular scene the protagonist persuaded her lover to allow her to stick a finger up his bottom, something that interested Lily a great deal.

“Would you ever do that, James?” Lily asked.

“What’s that?” James asked, clearly pretending to not know what she meant.

“Stick a finger up your bum. I’ve heard it feels good,” Lily said.

James looked nervous and laughed.

“I would do anything for you,” James said.

“But does it… turn you on?” Lily asked.

“I’m not sure. One way to find out, I suppose,” James said, always up for trying new things.

So James lay on his stomach while Lily poured lubricant on his hole and onto her fingers. Gently, she massaged the lubricant into the rim of his hole.

“How does that feel?” Lily asked.

“Interesting,” James replied.

Lily eased her finger inside and James made a startled sound.

“Is it OK?” Lily asked.

“It’s fine. Just… different,” James said.

Lily angled her finger down, searching for what Dorcas described as a small bump. Once she felt her finger press into it, James let out a “Oooo!”

“That nice?” Lily asked.

“Yeah. Do that again,” James requested.

So Lily repeated the motion and the more she did it the more James seemed to moan. Eventually James pulled himself to his knees so that he could stroke his cock while she fingered his arse. After she added another finger James really started to moan and thrust his pelvis.

“Oh Goddess, I’m going to come!” James moaned.

“Wait!” Lily said and James quickly pulled his hand off his cock.

Lily slid in front of him and took his cock in her mouth while she continued to reach around, fingering his arse. James howled as he climaxed into her mouth. Lily felt very pleased to have discovered yet another way to please her husband.

On their third day and final day in Fidelius, they took a full gondola tour of the city, just enjoying each other’s company with no other distractions. Lily suspected they were both ready to get home. She had certainly never been away from home for so long and she was missing it terribly. She thought perhaps a time might come that she would desire more time at sea but for now as lovely as Fidelius had been, she might prefer to stick to home.

That night they didn’t make love. Not exactly. Instead they cuddled naked together, reading and occasionally stopping to kiss and caress each other. She hadn’t stopped desiring James at all. But there was something to be said for letting the desire build back up to a frenzy. Even still, with his erection pressed up against her it was difficult to not make a move. She had feared she wouldn’t be able to sleep but eventually they fell asleep in each other’s arms, nonetheless.

* * *

 

The boat ride home was similar to that last day in Fidelius. They only made love once and it was slow and passionate, not wild and lustful. They arrived back at the island feeling together and sated, not just in terms of pleasure but in terms of their love as well.

Life on the island quickly went back to normal which meant that they were both very busy. They had barely been back a week before James had to get on his boat to work on a trade deal. Lily spent the time reorganising her newly purchased books and experimenting with some teas that she purchased on Fidelius. One tea in particular called soulflower smelt so good and sweet that Lily had almost forgot to drink it before it went cold.

She had found herself feeling tired and nauseous of late which was lending itself to spending time in bed with one of her new books. She missed James, his absence somehow being worse than ever.

When her breasts begun to feel tender she had some suspicions that something was up but once her period failed to arrive she could no longer ignore the reality that she was most likely pregnant.

Once James had returned she wasn’t sure if she should tell him immediately. The signs were all there and her period had always been reliable. But still she waited a week to be sure. As her symptoms only worsened and her period definitely didn’t show up there was finally no use in waiting any longer. She went to Pomfrey who swiftly confirmed her suspicions.

Lily greeted James in the kitchen one morning with a pot of the soulflower tea that had some of her added touch and waited for him to sit down before revealing the news.

“I’m pregnant,” she said.

James gave her a surprised look and pushed his glasses up his nose. He then smiled and reached over to grab her hand.

“That’s wonderful, Lils,” he said and stood up to to go over and kiss her.

* * *

 

The early weeks of pregnancy weren’t a lot of fun. The best part was sharing the news with all of their friends. When she told Mary and Dorcas they had countered with their own news that they had set a wedding date for the following summer, not long before Lily was due.

“We could reschedule until after your baby,” Dorcas said.

“Don’t be ridiculous. Never underestimate a pregnant person,” Lily replied, making her friends laugh.

Molly Weasley was as overjoyed as expected, her own baby bump finally visible. She offered to answer any questions that Lily might have as she was the island’s resident expert on pregnancy.

Sirius was the most emotional, having begun to cry and hugging them both. He was even more emotional when James asked him to serve as Goddessfather.

Peter was happy but he seemed sad and distant. Lily thought that caring for his mother was wearing on him. Peter never seemed to be able to find his own purpose in life. She wanted to suggest something but she wasn’t sure what.

She did go to tell her sister only to find that she and her husband, Vernon, had left the island at some point recently, never intending to come back. Lily felt sad about the divide between her and her sister. She had begged her to come to the wedding only to be repeatedly rejected. Perhaps someday she would find a way to cross that divide.

Aside from the joy of the reveals, Lily was feeling fairly rotten, with all the nausea, frequent trips to the toilet and general lack of energy. Lily hadn’t expected pregnancy to be this unpleasant right from the beginning. She did realise that winterberry tea could help with the nausea, though it didn’t help with the heartburn.

On top of all that she really couldn’t bear to deal with sex, though it was clear that poor James was still interested. One night about four weeks into her pregnancy James was clearly in the mood, kissing at her neck and groping at her thighs. 

“I’m sorry, James. I just don’t feel in the mood,” Lily said.

Even if she had felt all right at the moment the notion of any sort of rocking that might make her feel sick made her anxious and her breasts were feeling especially sore.

“Ah. Well, that’s all right,” James said, removing his hands and mouth from her body.

“Why don’t you finish yourself off? I can watch,” Lily said with a small smile.

“OK,” James said with a smile then rolled onto his back and slid the cloth of his trousers down, exposing his erection.

James stroked himself while his head lolled over to her direction, smiling at her and accepting small kisses from her before finally grunting and moaning his way to a swift climax. Lily could still appreciate the beauty of her husband’s pleasure even if she wasn’t interested in participating for the moment.

* * *

 

Despite her general unpleasant feelings, Lily was still determined to get around the island and make herself useful. She had decided to work as a tutor to help villagers learn to read and write, especially children. This led Lily to the realisation that it was long overdue for the island to have a school again, though it would be using wood that they otherwise would’ve used to build another boat. They could practically fill a school with Molly Weasley’s offspring alone.

Dorcas Meadowes laughed when Lily suggested she be the teacher of this school.

“I’m not even twenty, yet! I was a child myself until not too long ago, Lily!” Dorcas said.

“Someone has to do it. You’re better read than anyone I know, including myself. For now you would just be teaching kids aged six to twelve. If things work out we might add an older group as well. Education is important. If this island is going to pull itself out of poverty we need to improve education,” Lily said.

Dorcas sighed and shook her head.

“Me teaching children? What _has_ the world come to?” Dorcas said apparently having accepted the position.

James and other villagers spent a month building the school house while Lily was into her third month of pregnancy. She was concerned that she might actually have lost some weight thanks to nausea making eating less appealing and had been focusing on trying to eat as many nutritious foods as possible whenever she did have an adequate appetite.

Molly Weasley assured her that very soon things would become less unpleasant and her appetite, among other things, would pick up and she would start putting on weight. At the very least, her breasts had become large enough that her bras were having trouble fitting and given how sore they were she opted to just go without for the time being. Her nipples seemed darker too and Molly insisted that it was perfectly normal.

Another matter to deal with during her third month of pregnancy was her twentieth birthday. She decided to settle for a more easy going celebration this year and everyone laid off the wine in support of Lily who was abstaining on account of the baby.

That night she had another strange, vivid dream of the future from which she woke up covered in sweat and quickly ran to the toilet to bring up her dinner. James was quickly behind her with a wet rag to wipe off her face and console her as she wept.

* * *

 

The next week the school opened with Bill and Charlie Weasley both attending along with nearly a dozen other children from the village, with a hope that more would come as time went on. Lily offered to help Dorcas as much as she could. Dorcas was very nervous her first day and Lily did her best to encourage her.

The students were from a wide array of ages and weren’t at all at the same point in terms of learning. Lily decided they would probably need a second class at the very least if any more students started to come.

For now, Dorcas made do and tried to teach them about literature and mathematics. If there was one thing most of the students had in common it was a lack of knowledge on how to write so on the second day Dorcas focused on that. More students did show up, increasing the amount of students by half, particularly the older students.

Lily was forced to scramble to find a second school teacher and was surprised to find that Petrova Porskoff had an interest. On the third day Petrova took over teaching the older students, aged nine through twelve, while Dorcas took the younger students aged six through eight. It wasn’t perfect but it was a start.

Molly Weasley, for her part, was very grateful for the small lessening of her load, especially as her own pregnancy wore on. Her twins were now quite mobile and had become a real handful.

The second week of the school came and things were going smoothly. Parents were already asking about a class for the teenagers but finding appropriately educated people on the island might prove to be difficult, she thought. She would have to send James out to locate someone, possibly in Fidelius, who might be able to come teach the oldest students.

With some spare time Lily began to sew some maternity dresses to ensure that she would have them as her belly grew and she began to put on weight. She knew she had plenty of time until the baby was due but decided it was better to be prepared, though she was still nervous that she wasn’t going to put on enough weight unless the nausea subsided.

By the end of her third month of pregnancy, Lily felt like she could finally see a bump when she looked at herself naked in the mirror. She had been able to see and feel it on her body but before she didn’t feel like she had been able to see much of a difference when she looked in the mirror.

James, of course, was in awe of the bump, taking to it, getting on his knees and planting kisses that made her giggle. Lily looked in the mirror and cried at the sight of James pressing his face into her belly as it was very much like their little family was already there.

 


	9. The Birth

In her fourth month of pregnancy, Lily definitely noticed a great deal of improvement. For one thing, her nausea did in fact improve and with that her appetite came roaring back. The Potter household was suddenly filled with a perpetual smell of baked goods and stews and whatever else Lily was craving. She was ravenous and within several weeks she could tell that she had definitely put on weight at last.

While her breasts still appeared to be growing they also were far less tender which meant doing something as simple as giving hugs became more comfortable. Her energy level surged and she was able to get a great deal of things done that she had been putting off the last few months.

Everything wasn’t perfect. She still had the heartburn that wouldn’t seem to go away and in fact might’ve been getting worse. She had apparently begun to snore, which was keeping James awake at night, though she was almost certain she had never snored before once in her life. She also did feel some amount of aching in her abdomen but that was expected.

By the start of her fifth month she encountered a problem of a different nature. Her sex drive hadn’t just come back: it was perhaps stronger than ever which was something she definitely had not expected.

It was only a problem in that neither she nor James were certain if it was even safe to have sex. Lily at first was more than happy to let James perform oral sex on her. After a drought that had lasted months it was absolutely heavenly to have James please her like that and she had been nearly as happy to return the favour to him.

But Lily really wanted do more than that. And so she consulted Molly Weasley once more who was now due any day herself, looking very round and tired.

“Well, of course sex is safe,” Molly said.

“Are you sure? It just seems like…” Lily said, embarrassed to say what she was actually thinking.

“What? That he’s going to ram the baby with his penis?” Molly asked, tilting her head then laughing.

Lily looked away, feeling embarrassed.

“Don’t you worry. Just between you and me, Arthur is a bit… well, let’s just saying that I think calling him large might be underselling it. And I keep the lad busy, I promise you… though not so much at this point. Getting close,” Molly said, rubbing her belly.

Lily then inquired about specific positions that might be OK, since she was certain than even if it was safe, it might not all be comfortable for her. Lily also asked to feel Molly’s belly and nearly felt like crying when she felt the baby kick.

That night when James came home, Lily greeted him with a kiss that she knew he would find suggestive.

“I talked to Molly Weasley. Sex is safe. I just probably want to, you know, stay off my belly,” Lily said.

James smiled and nodded.

“After dinner then?” James said.

“Wouldn’t miss it,” Lily said.

After a very hearty dinner, they were upstairs and naked. Lily was lying on her side with James pressed against her back, his erection feeling very hot and also wet from the lubricant. James’s hand curved around her thigh to touch her aching flesh below and his mouth was on the back of her neck, kissing and sucking.

“Go ahead. I want you,” Lily urged.

James slid his body down a little then Lily felt as his penis found her entrance and slowly pushed inside. Lily moaned at the feeling of being stretched that she had definitely missed. James, on the other hand, was grunting and seemed to be having a difficult time getting inside.

“It’s umm… a lot tighter than normal. I don’t want to hurt you,” James said.

“Molly warned me about that. Just relax. Just hold it there,” Lily said, reaching around her belly to finger her clitoris.

Slowly, James eased himself inside. It was a very tight fit but James seemed to get himself mostly inside, not that Lily could see. James’s slow thrusts were incredible and Lily felt so loved and desired.

“Oh, Lily!” James moaned as James climaxed on cue, in sync with her own orgasmic moans and convulsions.

Lily was still feeling euphoric as she realised that her urgent bladder situation was soon going to become critical.

“Goddess, James, I need to pee,” Lily said, and James quickly pulled out while Lily pulled herself up and got of bed to race to the toilet, barely making it in time.

“You all right?” James asked, as Lily sat on the toilet, hunched over.

“Yeah,” Lily said with a smile.

“I could run us a bath,” James suggested.

“No. I think I just want to go to bed,” Lily said, feeling almost tired enough to pass out right where she was.

* * *

 

The following morning, Lily went to visit Molly Weasley and discovered a wonderful surprise. She had given birth to a baby boy overnight who she and Arthur had named Ronald.

“Do you suppose they’ll be friends?” Arthur asked, holding the newborn in his arms, while Molly slept.

“Who?” Lily asked.

“Our Ron and your little one,” Arthur replied.

“That would be nice,” Lily said and Lily remembered the dream she had the night her baby was possibly conceived.

She had dreamed of the large, extended family that Harry would marry into. What colour was the hair off all those cousins and extended family members? She thought it might’ve been red at the time but, after all, she had red hair herself, though it was a much, much darker shade than the Weasley clan.

“Yeah, you’d like that wouldn’t you,” Arthur Weasley whispered to his newborn son and carried him over to Lily who gently took him and held him against her bosom.

Lily thought the boy already looked like Arthur but she supposed it was far too early to tell. Right now he appeared to be the only child to be born on the island within a close proximity of hers so she supposed for the sake of her child they better get along.

* * *

 

The next time James and Lily made love, she decided to get on top. She wondered if the baby enjoyed the rocking. It was sort of funny when she thought of it like that. 

“Oh, James. I think I’m going to… owww,” Lily groaned as she was beset upon by a leg cramp on the very edge of climax.

“Ohhh,” James moaned, his face a mixture of pleasure and concern as he tried to figure out what was wrong with her despite his orgasm.

“Cramp in my leg,” Lily groaned in pain.

“I’m… sorry,” James said, his voice still straining from orgasm, Lily unsure if he was apologising for coming or for her pain… or both.

Lily also immediately discovered that being on top, while very enjoyable, had placed an even greater pressure on her bladder and she was forced to immediately run to the toilet, while James still lay there, probably wondering what had just happened.

Despite the embarrassment, they were laying in bed and laughing hysterically for nearly an hour afterwards. Over the next month or so this seemed to be the story of their sex life during pregnancy. Lily decided it was worth it and she would rather try and risk embarrassment.

In any event, James was forced to leave the island in the spring, fulfilling a promise to seek a teacher for the older students at the school, which Lily thought was important to do while she was still in the middle of her pregnancy and not the end.

Who he returned with was a great surprise. James brought back with him the woman from the bookstore in Fidelius who Lily had found so charming.

“Marlene McKinnon,” she said, with a handshake, finally giving Lily the name she had wanted to get before.

Marlene was an attractive woman perhaps five years older than Lily. She had dark brown hair and eyes to match. She had full pink lips that had a curious shape to them that Lily couldn’t quite figure out. She was slightly taller than Lily, who had always considered herself a little tall for a girl already.

She had a manner about herself that suggested someone who was only pretending to be boring and bookish. Lily found her very interesting indeed.

“Lily Potter,” Lily said smiling at her.

“It seems I’m to be your new school teacher. The pay isn’t as good as my old job but I can’t help but be drawn to doing some good in the world,” Marlene said.

She then smiled at Lily’s belly and said, “James told me you were expecting. Congratulations.”

“Thanks,” Lily said.

* * *

 

By all reports, Miss McKinnon made a fine teacher for the teenagers and had no trouble keeping them in line. Lily was very happy that she and James were able to execute their plan so swiftly. By the end of Lily’s six month of pregnancy the island was buzzing about the success of the new school.

The news of the school’s success was slightly undermined by surprisingly scorching spring that led to truly brutal summer, one that came just as Lily was in the last third of her pregnancy.

Lily’s eighth month of pregnancy wasn’t a lot of fun. The energy she had regained during the middle third of her pregnancy had been replaced by more exhaustion than before. And her abdomen hurt, as did her back. The heartburn was nearly unbearable.

Lily had worried about the contractions but compared with everything else, they were fine.

She had begun to get small stretch marks on her lower abdomen and her inner thighs. She was embarrassed at first but James insisted they were just beautiful signals of their coming parenthood.

Her dreams were bizarre and erratic. There were some of the same recurring themes but it was all a jumble and a lot of it didn’t make any sense, including an odd dream where Sirius’s future husband was a fish.

All of that was bad enough, but then there was the heat. Not only did it wreak havoc on Lily’s garden and a lot of the island crops but it made even stepping outside unpleasant. The timing was not convenient as Lily still had several weeks left until she gave birth.

But there was, at the very least, the pond which she was able to use her abilities to cool off, making it turn into a nice shade of icy blue.

James had been busy preparing a room for the baby. In the long term, James wanted to expand their house, adding at least another floor but for now he decided to craft a small space in their bedroom to serve as a temporary baby room.

* * *

 

Several weeks before she was scheduled to give birth, Mary and Dorcas’s wedding took place. They had decided on a much smaller affair, only inviting close friends to their beachside wedding, which was officiated by the multi-talented Marlene McKinnon.

Lily enjoyed the wedding and appreciated its simplicity. After it was over she was greeted by Marlene.

“Hello again, Mrs. Potter. You’re looking lovely this painfully hot afternoon,” Marlene said.

Lily blushed and said, “Thank you. You did a good job today. I didn’t know you did weddings.”

“I am a registered cleric of the Goddess I’ll have you know. I completed the training at fourteen. I’ve always had a passion for the Goddess. Religion is fascinating,” Marlene said.

“So you’re a true believer?” Lily asked.

Marlene gave Lily a curious smile and laughed.

“Yes… and no. I don’t know if the Goddess is real but I choose to live in service to her nonetheless. Call it a pragmatic personal decision,” Marlene replied.

Lily marveled at the notion of anyone having to believe in her. Though she also wondered what sort of a deity would even require it. She also wondered what sort of a deity would allow herself to be turned into a human against her will. 

Sometimes Lily had a sneaking suspicion that the Goddess hadn’t been turned against her will. Perhaps her existence hadn’t been the product of a human man manipulating a deity but of a deity giving herself form to stop the man from doing harm. 

“So you’re a cleric, a teacher and you ran a bookstore. I’m impressed,” Lily said.

“I can also sail, sew, I have substantial experience with long distance running, I’m a registered nurse and a novelist,” Marlene said, looking proud.

“Is there anything you aren’t good at,” Lily asked.

Marlene leaned over and whispered, “No,” then chuckled.

“You say you are a novelist. What do you write?” Lily asked.

“Have you heard of ‘Anna Feather’? I write those books under a pseudonym. Wrote the first one when I was barely eighteen. Couldn’t believe how they took off. Your husband has promised to make sure my manuscripts still make it back to Fidelius to be printed,” Marlene asked.

Lily struggled not to let her jaw drop. The baby kicked almost as if it was just as shocked as she was.

“You wrote ‘Anna Feather’? I loved that. James and I have read _all_ of your books,” Lily said.

“Have you? Well, that’s simply lovely. Yes, I wrote the first one on a long voyage by boat. The only books available were the normal terrible dreck with romantic male leads who were obviously abusive bastards,” Marlene said, looking wistfully off into the distance.

“But you were only eighteen. How could you have known so much about the world?” Lily asked.

“I didn’t mention that I was on a voyage with a ton of older women. Told me everything about men and relationships I ever needed to know. Never really cared much for men in a romantic or sexual capacity, if I’m being honest,” Marlene replied.

“But you write…” Lily said.

“Damn good romance novels that feature ground breaking depictions of relationships between men and women that defy cultural gender norms?” Marlene replied with a grin.

“But if you aren’t interested in men… why don’t you write anything about women being together?” Lily asked.

“I like money,” Marlene replied flatly.

“Oh,” Lily said.

“For whatever it’s worth, my next novel does feature Anna having an affair with a woman. Maybe it’ll catch on,” Marlene said with a wink, touching Lily’s shoulder briefly before walking away.

* * *

 

At summer’s peak, Lily went into labour. For the few days before she was due, Pomfrey stayed in their home so that once contractions began Lily wouldn’t have to travel all the way down to the village.

The process of giving birth was unbelievably messy. The pain was bad, though not as bad as Lily expected. She wanted to use her abilities to calm her body but wasn’t sure what effect that might have on the baby.

Pomfrey was incredible and handled the situation with grace and poise. Lily supposed she’d now had plenty of experience, just from Molly Weasley alone.

James handled it better than Lily expected, though he did seem shocked by just how messy it was. Otherwise he was with her all the way and every bit as supportive as she needed.

Hearing her baby crying for the first time was one of the defining moments of Lily’s life up to that point, second only to the first time she held him in her arms. It was a strange moment. He was so small but had seemed so large inside of her. There had been something comforting about the life that had been growing inside of her. She was both moved and saddened to no longer have him with her in that way.

After some discussion they settled on Harry as the baby’s name. Harry James Potter is what they signed on his birth record.

Lily had some rest and later James brought their friends around. Sirius wept when he got to hold Harry just as Lily expected. Peter also seemed pleased. James was in heaven and she could see in his eyes that he immediately loved their child every bit as much as he loved her.

That night while James massaged her feet, Lily made her first attempt to breastfeed Harry. She worried that it might hurt or be uncomfortable but Harry latched on and suckled rather smoothly. 

She didn’t believe that she was producing much actual milk but the experience was still positive and after months of embarrassing leakage it finally felt good to get some use out of it.

That night Lily slept soundly. She wondered if she would dream in the way that she had been but not that night. That night was fine. 

The next day was a bit rougher as she was still recovering and the baby had a great many needs to be taken care of. Luckily, James was a saint despite, by his own admission, having spent almost no time around a baby in his twenty-one years of life.

* * *

 

The first three months of Harry Potter’s life were exhausting ones for his parents. Lily felt like she was stuck in an endless cycle of sleeping in short bursts only to be woken up by Harry, or having to breastfeed Harry or having to wash Harry. Lily wouldn’t’ve traded it for the world, but it was exhausting.

Lily loved the time she spent with Harry in those first three months, at least when she wasn’t too tired to appreciate much of anything. As soon as she was able, she took Harry to meet Molly Weasley and Ron, who was now four months old himself.

It was amazing seeing him grow and develop before her eyes. Lily would always carry with her the first time he smiled or the first time he laughed. Even in such a short time he was able to become much more interactive with the world around himself and even became able to hold up his own head.

This process only grew over the rest of Harry’s first six months. Lily discovered that she loved to play with Harry and she loved to read to him, though she knew he still didn’t understand much of anything beyond his name and perhaps the word “no”.

James stayed busy a lot of the time. Lily did find herself missing him but understood that the island had needs. She certainly didn’t mind the time with Harry but sometimes she just found that she didn’t have the energy and had to insist that James stop and take a day off to help her.

But James was a good dad and a fine husband. Anytime she called for him, he was there and even a single day of rest could replenish her for a week or two.

It went without saying that their sex life was on hold as the time and energy simply didn’t exist for either of them. Various people offered to watch Harry for a short time but Lily was not having any of that. She couldn’t bear to part with him.

Lily lost much of the weight she put on while she was pregnant with Harry but not all of it. She didn’t really mind the added weight and she knew it wasn’t something James cared about. It did mean needing to either make adjustments to old clothing or buying or sewing new garments entirely.

At Lily’s twenty-first birthday party everyone gifted her things for the baby, except for Marlene McKinnon who brought Lily a copy of her new ‘Anna Feather’ book. 

It was Sirius who was the first to make an astute observation that Lily knew everyone would be repeating to her when they saw the baby: “He already looks so much like James but he has your eyes, Lils.”

Lily had been surprised when his newborn blue eyes didn’t develop into a hazel like James but a deep shade of emerald like her eyes, though they weren’t quite there just yet.

* * *

 

Lily wasn’t sure if the rest of Harry’s first year was less exhausting or if she was simply used to being woken up by his cries. Either way, she was adjusting to her new reality of motherhood. She had no doubt on whether having a child at this age was a personal mistake. She knew it had been the right choice.

At ten months Harry took his first steps, in the backyard by the garden. Spring was turning into summer and Lily sat on the grass as her beautiful baby boy pulled himself up then attempted a dash, getting a few steps before falling over onto her chest.

“Very good, Harry,” Lily said as Harry laughed.

She then had to bring everyone around to see Harry’s new trick, which simply delighted Harry. By the time his first birthday came around Harry was able to get around parts of the house fairly well, though Lily greatly discouraged Harry from attempting to go up or down the stairs on his own, not that this dissuaded the boy.

For his first birthday, James unveiled Harry’s new room. It had taken James all year to build onto their home a smaller, third floor room that would serve as Harry’s room. James had decided that Harry would appreciate the incredible view once he was older. For now, Lily just saw it as another set of stairs for Harry to potentially injure himself on.

Taking Harry into his bedroom for the first time was a wonderful experience. James had installed many windows and a balcony onto the room but for now they were all tightly locked to prevent any accidents.  

James had filled the room with many of his own things from when he was a kid, though it was too early to be certain what sort of interests Harry would have. Lily did wonder what sort of man Harry would be someday but she wasn’t remotely ready to give up the boy so that the man could live.

* * *

 

The second year with Harry was even more wonderful than the first. He grew so much and by the time Lily’s twenty-second birthday came around, Harry had achieved numerous new milestones. He had also quickly become friends with Ron Weasley. Molly Weasley was amazingly with child once again and insisted to Lily that this was the last time and she was crossing her fingers for a girl.

At her twenty-second birthday party everyone was still giving Lily gifts that were actually for Harry, not that Lily minded all that much. She did wonder how much her friends now saw her as Harry’s mother rather than Lily Potter.

In the second year there was one significant development: their sex life had returned in a big way, though they still lacked the space and freedom they once had.

In a way things really were returning to normal as life with Harry just became a normal part of life itself. Harry had begun to talk to her and was able to hold minimal conversations. He was a very small person, who just happened to need a great deal from her.

He could run and play and explore. He was a curious boy who loved to explore. Lily woke up many times to find Harry downstairs and opening cupboards, much to her frustration. Lily had a recurring fear that one day Harry might try to climb down the cliffside but thus far he hadn’t ever gone that close to it.

The day after Harry’s second birthday, James had been scheduled to make another trade trip. Lily and Harry had said their goodbyes to James just like they always did but several hours later James had returned looking distraught.

“What’s the matter?” Lily asked, as James sat down at the dining table in silence.

“The boat’s gone. It’s been stolen,” James said.

* * *

 

Losing the boat once again couldn’t have come at a worse time. Trade to the island had slowed and they were running out of resources swiftly. And the word was that many of the other islands were also struggling. Economic hard times had a way of taking everyone down who was connected to those economies.

James appreciated the irony of having his own boat stolen though Lily didn’t think anyone was laughing. They were out of wood and it might be months before any more lumber came their way and they would be damn lucky if they would have enough to trade for a better boat.

“We need more people with skills that are in demand. We need farmers and fisherman. Lily, we are one natural disaster away from total ruin,” James said, while they sat on the dock at sunset, Harry sleeping in Lily’s arms after a long day of playing with Ron Weasley.

“What do we do? Put up a sign in the middle of the sea with an arrow pointing our direction?” Lily asked.

“I don’t know. I just… I feel like I’ve worked so hard to make things better and I don’t want it all to crumble away,” James said.

“The island is strong. Even if disaster strikes, we’ll recover and rebuild again. It’s happened before. It will happen again. It’s just a risk we take. It’s the life we all accept,” Lily said.

James reached over and grabbed her hand.

“I hope you are right. I want to believe it,” James said.

“I am often right. Now let’s go home,” Lily said, slowly pulling herself to her feet, being careful not to wake Harry.

* * *

 

The next year began to pass like a happy dream, despite the lost boat. Mary and Dorcas adopted their first child. Trade on the island somewhat resumed and a family of dentists named Granger moved to the island, bringing along with them their daughter Hermione who, it turned out, was Harry and Ron’s age, giving them a new friend to play with.

Marlene McKinnon’s new ‘Anna Feather’ novel came out and Lily enjoyed it greatly, a fact that she raved about over tea during a long afternoon. Marlene wasn’t the slightest bit humble about her abilities but Lily liked that about her.

Lily finally consented to allowing Harry to be babysat by Molly Weasley, giving her and James a weekend to themselves at long last.

“Do you know it’s been six years now?” James said, before kissing her as they clasped against each other, naked in bed.

“Seems like it was only yesterday,” Lily said, her hands feeling the muscles of his back as he pushed his lips into her throat.

“Wasn’t it?” James whispered in her ear before kissing down her neck to her shoulder.

“I think it all happened in a dream,” Lily said, feeling the heat of James’s erection resting against her thigh, urging all her blood to travel south.

“What makes you think the dream is over? I’m hoping it never ends,” James said and Lily reached between them to fondle his erection.

“Oh,” James said softly as Lily slowly and softly stroked him.

James leaned down and kissed her nose, making her giggle. Lily leaned up and kissed his nose back then gave his lips a peck, which led to him pressing their lips together for a slower, fuller kiss.

The palm of Lily’s hand rubbed the underneath of the head of James’s cock, before gripping it around the base and tugging gently.

“Make love to me now, please,” Lily begged.

James grabbed the lubricant, fully covering himself and dripping some onto her. Within moments her legs were wrapped behind him as he gently stretched and filled her.

“Mmmm,” Lily moaned happily, then breathed deep as James slowly thrust.

James kissed her deeply as he took his time. It was almost as if time had slowed so that she could savour every moment of pleasure that took place between them.

“I love you, James. I love you… so much. Mmm,” Lily moaned into his ear.

Every time James thrust he closed his eyes and bit his lip. As close as they had become, Lily truly felt like she could sense everything he was feeling, separate and equal to her own feelings. It was like a harmonious duet of pleasure and the song only grew louder the longer they made love.

Occasionally, their mouths found each other and they kissed like each time could be the last time. James seemed to have slowly increased the speed of his thrusts and Lily could feel how close he was getting to climax. She knew that when he came she wouldn’t be able to stop herself from coming with him.

“Oh, James,” Lily said softly, throwing her head back in ecstasy, her body feeling so alive with love and desire.

James kissed her and said, “Did you know that sometimes I wake up and I see you lying there and it’s like I’m seeing you again for the first time? Only every day you’re somehow more beautiful than you were the day before.”

Lily made a happy sound and kissed James’s slightly stubbled cheek.

“You’re close, James. So close. I can feel it. One nice push will send you over the edge,” Lily said then moaned.

“You’re not wrong,” James said, his face twitching and seeming tense.

“Then let go. Let’s send each other over the edge,” Lily said.

James began to pump a little faster and Lily focused all her energy on the edge they were both hanging on, feeling their pleasure arc as euphoria filled them, lingering so strongly it felt like they were on a cloud, if only momentarily before drifting down to the ground as their bodies shuddered.

And then they were kissing again and rolling around on the bed. Lily thought she was crying though it could’ve been James or possibly it was them both.

* * *

 

As nice as their weekend had been, it was wonderful when Harry was returned to them. They took him to their bedroom, full of laughter and set him down between them, their happy little family complete.

Lily hadn’t told James something. When they made love she had finally created a birth control tea that she was reasonably informed was effective. But the truth is she didn’t worry about getting pregnant. In all her dreams, they only ever had one child: Harry. And that was fine. Harry and James had brought her all the joy that a person could possibly imagine and more.

She didn’t know why they wouldn’t have any more. She wondered if it would be self-fulfilling. She thought that perhaps believing her dreams were true would make them come true. But if the last six years had taught her anything it was that there was always room to claim your own destiny. The truth of that strength had fueled her since the night she defeated Grindelwald and asserted her own agency. And she would need it in the times to come.

Things were about to change once again. A new storm was coming. A man named Remus Lupin would enter their lives, falling in love with Sirius Black. Harry would grow up and fall in love and have his own adventures. And someday Lily would pass from this world and become one with the Goddess once more, whatever she truly was.

But for now she was lying in bed with her husband and her son. This wasn’t her destiny but rather the result of her own choices. Both had fallen asleep. She leaned over and kissed their foreheads before resting her head on the pillow that James and Harry were resting theirs on and closing her eyes, feeling content and at peace.

 

 


End file.
